Not Too Heavy

"I don't want to make this too heavy for you," she said as she packed up my groceries.  I had one of those huge reusable bags that I brought from home.  I went in thinking I'd just pick up a few things, but you know how that goes.  I ended up with a cart full.  And that's OK, I am now stocked up.
I really didn't think too much about what she said though until I got home.  I opened up my trunk and began to lift the groceries out and that's when God softly spoke to my heart.  "I don't want to make this too heavy for you," He said.  I knew right then what He was talking about.  Funny how that goes.  I knew.  As I carried in the rest of my goodies my mind was on what God had just said.  He was taking care of me, of that I am sure.  Not too heavy of a load--and I truly thank Him for that.

I hadn't planned on sharing the story of my load on my blog.  In fact, I hadn't planned on sharing it with anyone.  My husband knew of course, but no one else.  It was (per my request) our secret.  I really didn't think it was necessary to worry anyone when in my opinion there wasn't anything yet to worry about.  I think that he, on the other hand, wanted to ask others to pray.  I didn't.  And I told him so.  Please, I said.  Tell no one.

For the past few weeks, I have been carrying a burden.  It's unusual for me to be thinking about or praying for myself.  I'm not saying that I don't, I'm just saying it isn't all that often.  I like praying for other people.  It's just more fun.  However, these past few weeks were a little different for me.  I had gone in for a routine doctor's visit and something showed up on a test.  Which then turned into more tests.  And more tests.  I do have to say that all during this testing time, I felt a peace from God--that He would sustain me, no matter the outcome.  There were times though when I would find myself drifting off into what if land.  I hate what if land.  It reminds me too much of I have no faith land.  And that's a land that I will not dwell in, and so I prayed.

I felt all along that God would lift this heavy burden, and that I would be OK.  And thank God, the word benign--was the word on my doctor's report.  I was so relieved.  I felt myself melt right into the very arms of God and thank Him for that simple little word.  Benign.  And life went on.  Things resumed.  Life went back to normal.  Until this morning.  He reminded me once again through the words of that cashier, that He, my father, my God, my healer, didn't want to make this load too heavy for me.  Wow, what a mighty God I serve!

For that reason, I have decided to share this simple little story.  You see, my life rests in His hands.  His load is light.  Even if I had seen a different word written on that medical report, I believe with my whole heart that He would have softly whispered that simple little phrase into my ear--I don't want to make this too heavy for you.  And He never has, He's always been there, and He always will be.  To carry me when I need carrying.  To hold me when I need holding--He's my father.