Coco Chanel # 4

There's this dog, you see.  And she kinda stole my heart.  I tried so hard not to let it happen.  I thought to myself--I'll just like her a lot.  I will hold her and hug her, feed her and walk her, train her and be good to her, but I won't love her.  Nope.  I am going to keep that love all bottled up for the dog I just lost.  I just couldn't risk hurting that much again.

For that is how much I love my dogs and that is how much I hurt when they die.

So, for me, it was just too risky.  My heart was hurting too badly to take on anything else.  And yet...it happened anyway.  That little bi-black sheltie pup looked into my eyes and said it first.  In her own little doggie puppy way, she said it first.  I love you, mom.

Now, what do I do?  Not love her back?  As she desperately tries to please me?  As she lets me do just about anything to her--nail clipping, tail brushing, bath giving--you know all those mean things that dog moms do?  When she stares at me expectantly waiting for her next command--how can I not love her?

And then it hit me.  She has healed my little broken heart.  She has made me--yes, made me love her. That sneaky little thing.  At just 9 months old and just a mere 6 months after losing my last sheltie, this little girl has made me love her.  She is the cutest, most cuddly little thing.  Always licking, always jumping (hence the agility training) always by my side--she has let me know that in no uncertain terms, she will stick by me and be loyal to me and love me unconditionally.  That's just the way dogs are.

They're sneaky like that.  Those soft, fluffy, snuggly puppies.  They worm their way in and then wind you around their little paws.  How awesome is that?  I didn't even see it coming.

Yes, when God creates you, makes and molds you, and you just happen to be a dog person (I realize some people aren't) I believe that he uses said dogs to teach you (me) life lessons.  Lessons about love, compassion, empathy and even loss.  At least that is how He works many times in my life.  He works through my love of animals, most specifically dogs.

So my new pup Chanel keeps me very busy, we're in training.  She also sits with me when I cry--which I tend to do a lot.  She makes me laugh when I need it the most.  She is the ever loyal friend.  And as long as she'll have me, I'll be her ever loyal mom, loving her way past the end.

You see, I tend to love my dogs forever.  God made me like that.  And it's OK.  It really is.

Easter Musings

While watching the news this morning it occurred to me that everyone was using the word Easter.  All the newscasters were using it, and also every commercial that was broadcasted mentioned their Easter sales.  Many restaurants were advertising their lovely dinners, etc.  I kind of liked it.

I watched Easter services from around the globe, hearing people talk about church, even hearing the phrase--Christ is risen.  Yes, I heard that too, from broadcast television.  At first, I was stunned.  Did they just say that on the news?  Christ is risen?  Huh.

I think I was so surprised because I had just become somewhat accustomed to hearing the word holiday over and over again during Christmas time.  Holiday tree, holiday sales, holiday everything.  And yet--the word Easter not holiday was used this morning.  I'm not complaining--I'm just pondering this bit of information and trying to figure out why.  Why is it so different?  Why does the word Christmas offend, while the word Easter does not?  I'm a little confused.

It seems that no one (at least in the secular world) wants to talk about the birth of Christ and yet everyone (at least in the secular world) talks about His resurrection.  Can a person believe in one without the other?  I've heard more about the resurrection of Christ via television this past week than I've heard in a long time.  And I don't watch religious TV.  So I am baffled.

I was told by the media et al, that all the world wants to celebrate Christmas, er, I mean holiday time.  They want to share in the gift-giving, meal planning, lights, and decorations, but please do not offend them with the C word.  Nope, do not even call that silly old tree a Christmas tree--it is now a holiday tree henceforth.  

So, can you understand my confusion?  Why is Easter so different?  I do believe that Christians celebrate both equally, and so does the secular world, with Santa and the Easter bunny running neck and neck.  Also noted this morning was the sale of candy--with Easter candy sales even topping those candy sales of Halloween!  What?

And guess what else I found out?  Most major retailers are closed today!  Closed!  I did find some pharmacies that are open though.  I checked.  However, don't you remember all the stores that were vowing to stay open on Christmas Day for those last minute shoppers?  I do.  

All this information is messing with my little pea brain.  It's about to explode with all the questions I have swirling around inside.  Why is Easter so much easier than Christmas for the world to hear about?  

I wonder, is it because it contains hope?  Hope that one day Christ will return for His church?  Hope because He really did arise from the dead?  Hope because at Christmas He was just a baby, but at Easter, He was a man--a man who could really save us?  I don't know.  Maybe it's just too hard for some to believe or even care about a little baby--maybe that's why they are offended by the word Christmas.  I'm not sure.  However, how can one be offended by the word Easter, when Christ is offering hope and life to all?

Yes, maybe that is my conclusion.  Jesus who rose from the dead--is the one who saves us from death.  He is our hope, our salvation, and our peace.  There isn't one thing "holiday" about it.  

It's Easter.  And not just for Christians--it's Easter for all.  Hope for all.  Christ for all who believe. 

Maybe the thought of hope is an easier pill to swallow.  Maybe believing in a baby is just too much to ask of some.  

This Easter, I will try to remember that--as I go out today for lunch with my grandkids.  I will try hard to share God's love for this fallen world, I will try my hardest to be like Jesus and pray for those around me.  Maybe in some small way via a smile or kind word, I can reflect the love of Christ and show them what Easter is really all about.  Maybe I can give someone a little bit of hope today.  

Again Congo

I realize that I have not blogged in several weeks.  I just haven't been in the mood to write.  My emotions have been all over the board, up and down--ever changing.  I'm not really used to that.  I am usually more stable.  However, these past few weeks have been hard.  And good.  Yes, they've been good too.  That's why things have been so topsy-turvy for me.  Sometimes I feel as though I am riding a roller coaster, and I hate roller coasters, I really do.  I tend to like flat surfaces.  Easy, steady, comfortable--you know, safe.

Yes, it's been a long few weeks for me.  You see, my husband once again is in the Congo.  The DRC, the continent of Africa.  As I've watched him make purchases, pack his bags and talk incessantly about this trip, it's been tough--for me.  Not for him.  He's been so excited that it's been hard to bring him back into reality, reality being me.  Because after all, isn't it always all about me?  No?  OK, I guess not.

So, for these past few weeks, I've tried hard to be supportive.  When he told me that he wanted to go back to the Congo, back into that dangerous country, fly on old unsafe planes, stay in missionaries homes that have guard shacks, and eat foods that I can't even imagine--what was I to say?  I guess I did what most spouses would do--I said, do it, go, I'll pray for you.  And then behind closed doors, I cried.  I didn't really want him to go.  Not really.  I hate the thought of him being in any kind of danger, especially when our own government suggests that we not go.  But, go he did.

It's just been a few days but so much has happened that I don't even know where to begin.  So, I'll start with this part.  He wanted to fly through Brussels to visit our friends on his way to Africa, but alas, there were no available seats.  He was so disappointed.  He ended up making flight arrangements via Paris.  And then look what happened that fateful horrible morning in Brussels!  I was so concerned for our friends who live there, I immediately had to make sure that they were all ok, which thankfully they were.  I didn't hear from my husband until a few hours later that day to even share stories with him.  It seems that half their missionary team flew through Brussels and are now stranded there until tomorrow or the next day.  But, at least they are all fine.  Some have lost their luggage, they are all tired and wondering what will happen next, etc.  My husband sounded exhausted, but at least he was able to make contact with me.  I am so thankful for that.

This time around he is working on a project to bring electricity to a local hospital.  Can you even imagine checking into a hospital without electricity?  I can't.  However, I've seen the pictures and wow, I am so grateful for where I live and the modern conveniences that I've grown up with.  So very thankful for all I take for granted in this modern world.  And yet for some, it's not so modern.

I've noticed that my prayers for him and the team are very different this time around.  There is an urgency to these prayers of mine.  It's hard to explain.  I'll just have to pray as God directs me I guess.  There's really nothing more that I can do than that.  I realize that I have absolutely no control over what goes on in this world.  All I can do is pray.

I am wondering now how many more trips there will be.  Is this the last one?  Or just another one of much more to come?  I know where his heart is.  It's with the people of Congo.  He loves them.  It shows in his facial expressions as he speaks of them.  So why would I ever talk him out of going?

He just called.  A local missionary lent him his phone.  He is missing home, and although he's hot, tired, a little dehydrated--he sounded happy.  They are working hard on this project.  The rest of their team will hopefully be joining them in a few days.  I hope they make it.  I hope they get to experience what he is feeling.  Joy, happiness, thankfulness and most of all obedience to his God.  He is doing what God has called him to do.  He is content.  He is in Congo.  Need I say more.