Changes

It still makes me look twice.  You see, we rearranged the master bedroom and repainted over the weekend.  While I love the new look, I'm still a little shocked every time I round the corner.  It looks completely different, and all we did was paint one wall, move some furniture and buy 2 new lampshades.  And yet--it's all very different.  Don't get me wrong, I love the new look, it's just taking me awhile to get used to it.

You'd think I'd adapt much quicker, what with my track record of moving.  I moved almost every year as a child and have moved numerous times as an adult, and yet change of any kind is somewhat hard on me.  Good or bad change--it really doesn't matter, it's still a bit unnerving.  I realize now that that aspect of my personality most likely will never change (no pun intended)--not at my age anyway.  Change will always be hard on me.  I wonder if it's that way for everyone?  Or am I in the minority?

The insecurities that I wrestle with come about, I am sure, with my many moves.  Never really settling in, always knowing that soon, I would be jerked up and replanted.  As a kid there was nothing I could do about it, as an adult--well, there's not much I could do about that either when I think about it.  That stinks.  I would have thought by now that I would have some type of control over my own life.  But no.  No control.  Just change--scary change.  I don't like it.  Or do I?

However, I have this little problem.  It's called being positive--always seeing the silver lining in every cloud.  I believe that God made me that way--to cope.  With life.  And so with every move, I ferret out the good things about said move and throw out the bad and scary stuff.  And I've learned to adapt.  Because I am an optimist.  My husband doesn't realize what an enormous gift this is.  Or does he?

I'm wondering now if that's why every so often I need change.  I crave it.  Even if it's something as simple as painting a wall.  Moving a chair.  Buying a lampshade.  I need the change.  For self- preservation.  Yes, I think that's it.  For my mental well-being, every once in awhile, I need a little change in my life--maybe to remember that I am alive and that change is OK, good even.  Change is good and fun and stretching and life.

Yes, this little change over the weekend has made me feel good.  I needed something.  And this fit the bill--as they say.  This made all the difference in the world to my mental state.  It was fun and challenging (you've never had to paint a room with a paint hater, have you?) and exciting.  It made me happy.

I think I'll sit in there now and read awhile.  It's so pretty and different and changed...and it didn't hurt a bit.

Challenge Accepted

A couple of weeks ago I read a quote by Francis Chan that went something like this--
"Simon says, pat your head, and we all pat our heads.
Jesus says, go out and make disciples of men and we memorize that verse."

I haven't been able to get that quote out of my head.  I find myself dwelling on it day and night.  And I believe that God is challenging me with that very quote, He's asking me--do you make disciples of men?  I honestly didn't know.  Do I?  I've asked myself that question multiple times over the past several weeks.  Do I?  I did the only thing I know to do, I prayed.  I asked God to show me what that looks like--making disciples, just what does it look like?  How would I even begin to know if I am doing what Christ is asking of me?  As I prayed God began to show me some things I'd like to share.

I've discovered that other believer's gifts sharpen my own skills and giftings.  I drew this conclusion the other evening while sitting in our couples Bible study.  As we were all discussing our latest book, sharing our opinions and looking up scripture, it dawned on me--iron sharpening iron--I was watching it take place right before my eyes.  As one spoke--we were all challenged in our thoughts, as another shared--our spirits were lifted, and as even another talked--we were convicted by the Holy Spirit.  I sat there amazed as I watched God at work.  At one point it brought tears to my eyes, for God was speaking to my heart and He said--this is how you make disciples of men.  I watched as some around the room looked at me most likely wondering--why is she crying again?  However, when I hear God speak, I cry, I just do.  He touches my heart like no other can.

It was hard for me, I wasn't able to articulate right then and there what I was experiencing.  I am a slow processor--meaning that I had to go home and spend some time in prayer about this whole concept.  I now realize that as we share with each other things that we are discovering about our relationship with Christ, we are making disciples of men.  We are causing each other to dig through our Bibles for scripture, we are saying to ourselves--wow, do I do that, or I didn't know that, or should I be thinking that way too?  And that's a good thing.  No, not in the sense that we feel condemned, however, yes, in the sense that we allow the Holy Spirit to convict us.  We give Him rule and reign over our hearts.  I am always asking God--show me your ways.  And I find that one way He does this is by showing me the gifts of the people around me. I am very challenged and humbled by this.

True confession here--I sometimes feel that I am a little too dogmatic when it comes to sharing my faith.  I walk away from conversations feeling that I have been too overpowering, too excited, too in your face--especially when it comes to the topic of prayer.  For I am an intercessor.  A pray-er.  Here is a definition--

Intercession

Intercession is the act of interceding (intervening or mediating) between two parties. In Christian religious usage, it is a prayer to God on behalf of others.

In western forms of Christian worship, intercession forms a distinct form of prayer, alongside Adoration, Confession, and Thanksgiving. In public worship, intercession is offered as prayer for the world beyond the immediate vicinity.

That isn't all there is to living the life of a Christian though--there are so many other facets.  And maybe that's the key.  Maybe our challenge from God is to spread those gifts, share them with others, teach others, that whole iron sharping iron concept.  I push prayer, someone else pushes hospitality, another digging into the Bible, etc.  All these many giftings shared among believers, challenging each other to grow and become true disciples of Christ.  I think I'm on to something.  I think God has just challenged me.  To learn, to grow, to become a true disciple, and to make disciples of men.  Challenge accepted.  

I will follow you oh Lord.  I will learn and teach, grow and share, and I will serve you with my whole heart, all the days of my life.