I'm doing it again. My mind is traveling at the speed of light. I just happened to watch a video yesterday, and that's what started this ball a rollin'! The speaker was Priscilla Shirer. I've heard her before, and she touched my heart back then too. However, I am in a different place now. Very different, so I need to share just where my head (and heart) is at.
As I've mentioned before, I moved away from family and friends 2 years ago. Previously I had moved 13 years ago-- the same scenario. Just to be clear--I don't like moving. I don't like too much change. I love my family and friends. My closest friends are family to so that even makes moving double hard. But, with my husband's job comes change, moving, making new friends, and exploring new possibilities. That's what I tell myself anyway. New possibilities.
This last move--2 years ago--was by far the hardest move I've made thus far. I moved away from grandchildren. Not good. Not good at all. Who knew that those 5 little grandbabies would steal my heart so completely--that I would do anything to remain close to them. That wasn't going to be the case though. God had other plans for my life. And since I had given my life over to him, well, I had to move and move readily, with a smile on my face and a willingness in my heart. OK, forget the smile and the heart bit. It was just plain horrible. I cried the whole 6-hour drive to my new little town. My husband driving, me crying and him feeling like the biggest heal on earth.
I can honestly say that I wasn't mad at God. I was just sad. It was a lonely place to be in emotionally, it was hard. It was a bad time in my life. And while God wanted me to see the good stuff, Satan wanted me to only see the bad stuff. I soon learned though that through those hard lonely sad awful days--God was doing something. He was setting me up. He had good stuff in store, a plan, and a future. I learned that if I just kept praying, he'd show me the good stuff, a little at a time. And so I did. I waited, I prayed, I anticipated, I cried (I do that a lot) and I wondered--is it time yet God? And when, oh when, will this pain of loneliness and sadness go away? Basically, I just wanted to go home. Home to my forever house, to my friends, to my kids and grandkids, to my old Bible study friends--home. Just let me go home. I would actually daydream about the day my husband would walk into our house and say guess what? We're going home! Only that never happened.
It's been 2 years. What's changed? Everything! When I was ready to throw in the towel, God was there. When I was laying on my bed crying my eyes out, God was there. I leaned in and pressed close because I had no one else. My husband was extremely busy with his new position in his company. I did not have even one friend to come along side me. I had no one to talk to. No one. Only God.
It was during that lonely time that I began to write. I started this blog. It became my voice. My only mode of relating my emotions, my stories and my experiences about my new life. And, out of this little blog, believe it or not, a ministry was born. Hmmm--out of pain, a birth. Now just where have I heard that before?
I look at things much differently now. I am happy. I am no longer lonely. We have settled in and I know that I am right where God intended me to be. He didn't make a mistake. He didn't send me out here to punish me. He had a plan. A plan that revolves around him and not me. A plan to use my college degree, and a plan to use this blog to minister to others. A plan for me to make some fantastic lifelong friends. Yes, he had a plan all along. I am content. I am fully engaged in what God is doing in my life. Was it hard? Extremely. Was I sad? Yep. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. I love my life, it is sweet, and it belongs to my father, who will never ever leave me or forsake me. I am more than willing to walk this road, this path, this plan, as long as I am walking it with him.
Even in the hard times, I will serve you, oh my God.
I will praise you even when I cannot lift my head.
I will sing to you even when sometimes it is only a whisper.
I will open up my eyes to all you have for me to see.
I will trust you, and seek you, and remember all you've done for me.
I will shout your name from the depths of my heart.
For you oh God are mine.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Brave
We have finished with the Bible study on the book Brave. Remember? I was going to let you know how I did. How it affected me. How it changed me. It did you know. But, not in the way I expected it to. How often though do things happen the way we think they should? And, how often are we even able to see ourselves the way God does?
So I went for several weeks, reading, writing, studying, and wondering--just how does this affect me? I wasn't feeling a connection to this particular book. I was OK with that though, I was enjoying meeting a lot of the women that attend my new church. I was making friends. And frankly, that was good enough for me. I was enjoying myself.
That wasn't really good enough for God though. I should have seen it coming. Maybe I'm a little slow. He had plans. I wasn't going to be let off that easily. It wasn't until the very last chapter of the book--that's when God began to show me some things about myself. Things that I don't really like to think about--things from my past.
The last chapter of our book on being Brave was on brokenness. I thought to myself--I'm not broken. I'm not. That's what I kept saying to God. I'm not broken. Yes, it's very true that I am tender hearted, that I cry easily, that I can empathize with the best of them--but broken? No. Not me. I was not broken. However, very gently (as He always does) God took me down a road--the road of my childhood.
I was right you know. I am not broken as an adult. I was, however, broken as a child. I didn't even think about that aspect of brokenness. My heart as a child had been broken and through that brokenness, God has been able to use me to help others. I realized that via a scripture that we read today--that I have been healed. My broken childhood is gone, it no longer exists. At least that's what I thought--until today. He showed me that even though He has healed me from the brokenness of my childhood, that I still bear scars. And through those scars, I am able to walk alongside others who are hurting. I feel their pain, I cry with them. And I thought all along that I had chosen Psychology on my own...little did I realize--God had a plan.
In the book of Ruth, chapter 2, verse 10--Ruth says to Boaz--10 At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She asked him, “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?”
And that's when it hit me. I had found favor in God's eyes, He noticed me as a broken little child, He reached down, scooped me up and He healed me. He came after me, He found me. He is truly my redeemer. That is why as an adult, I did not identify with this last chapter in our Bible study book on brokenness. I am no longer broken. A few cracks? Yes. But broken no. I have been redeemed, I am broken no more. However, I am a crybaby, an empathizer, a counselor, a friend, I feel things deeply, and I now know that I am those things because of what God has done in my heart. I identify with His children, his broken children. That's what I cry about, I cry for the people whom God loves, I cry for the broken hearted, I cry for what He cries for. Why? Because I've been there.
I'll write about that broken childhood one day. And when I do I'll share it all. It will have to be in God's perfect timing though. Just as He heals me layer by layer, piece by piece, bit by bit, I will share my life through these pages. A little at a time. And, He'll be with me as I write so I won't be afraid--I'll be brave.
So I went for several weeks, reading, writing, studying, and wondering--just how does this affect me? I wasn't feeling a connection to this particular book. I was OK with that though, I was enjoying meeting a lot of the women that attend my new church. I was making friends. And frankly, that was good enough for me. I was enjoying myself.
That wasn't really good enough for God though. I should have seen it coming. Maybe I'm a little slow. He had plans. I wasn't going to be let off that easily. It wasn't until the very last chapter of the book--that's when God began to show me some things about myself. Things that I don't really like to think about--things from my past.
The last chapter of our book on being Brave was on brokenness. I thought to myself--I'm not broken. I'm not. That's what I kept saying to God. I'm not broken. Yes, it's very true that I am tender hearted, that I cry easily, that I can empathize with the best of them--but broken? No. Not me. I was not broken. However, very gently (as He always does) God took me down a road--the road of my childhood.
I was right you know. I am not broken as an adult. I was, however, broken as a child. I didn't even think about that aspect of brokenness. My heart as a child had been broken and through that brokenness, God has been able to use me to help others. I realized that via a scripture that we read today--that I have been healed. My broken childhood is gone, it no longer exists. At least that's what I thought--until today. He showed me that even though He has healed me from the brokenness of my childhood, that I still bear scars. And through those scars, I am able to walk alongside others who are hurting. I feel their pain, I cry with them. And I thought all along that I had chosen Psychology on my own...little did I realize--God had a plan.
In the book of Ruth, chapter 2, verse 10--Ruth says to Boaz--10 At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She asked him, “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?”
And that's when it hit me. I had found favor in God's eyes, He noticed me as a broken little child, He reached down, scooped me up and He healed me. He came after me, He found me. He is truly my redeemer. That is why as an adult, I did not identify with this last chapter in our Bible study book on brokenness. I am no longer broken. A few cracks? Yes. But broken no. I have been redeemed, I am broken no more. However, I am a crybaby, an empathizer, a counselor, a friend, I feel things deeply, and I now know that I am those things because of what God has done in my heart. I identify with His children, his broken children. That's what I cry about, I cry for the people whom God loves, I cry for the broken hearted, I cry for what He cries for. Why? Because I've been there.
I'll write about that broken childhood one day. And when I do I'll share it all. It will have to be in God's perfect timing though. Just as He heals me layer by layer, piece by piece, bit by bit, I will share my life through these pages. A little at a time. And, He'll be with me as I write so I won't be afraid--I'll be brave.
Monday, October 22, 2012
School Bus
He saw it before we did. I heard him calling out over and over again--school bus, school bus while pointing off in the distance. My daughter-in-law assured me--there has to be one nearby. We were shopping. Of course. When grandma visits, we shop. I love buying my grandchildren new little toys, cute clothing, or even something for a new hobby. They know that when I come--it's gift time. Always. Even if it's just something small, I just have to leave them with a present or two.
So there we were at the mall when my 20-month-old grandson saw it--the school bus. We searched high and low and finally, there it was, low, very low. Within his stroller level view of the world was--the school bus. It sat on a lower shelf. I bent down and picked it up. Carved wood, carved little people and expensive looking. Who cares though, right? Grandma's here! At least that's what I imagine him to be thinking. Grandma's here, she'll buy it for me. And how do I know this? Because she loves me, that's how. Grandma loves me.
And, without even looking at the price, I took it up to the counter and bought said school bus. His little arms reaching for it--school bus, school bus! He wanted it now. I gave him his new school bus and away we went. He carried it all the way to the restaurant where we proceeded to try and get him to eat. But no, the minute I unwrapped his school bus he never let go. His little hands moving the wooden people in and out of the bus. His face concentrating on opening and closing the wooden door and stop sign. Take time to eat? No way! His job for the next hour was to figure out where to place his little wooden people in his new little wooden school bus.
That gift was a hit, a huge hit. As I pushed him in his stroller through the mall after lunch, every so often he'd look back at me and smile and he'd yell out school bus grandma, school bus. That little smile, that grin of pure joy is what grandmothers live for. That look of gratitude and thankfulness, that look of love really--it just steals my heart.
I love my 5 grandchildren. I'd do anything for them. I'd buy them the moon if they wanted it. Their little arms wrapped around my neck, the smiles while playing, the watching movies and eating popcorn together, those are grandma times. Important times. Memory times. Precious times.
I can still hear him you know--school bus grandma, school bus. And my heart smiles.
So there we were at the mall when my 20-month-old grandson saw it--the school bus. We searched high and low and finally, there it was, low, very low. Within his stroller level view of the world was--the school bus. It sat on a lower shelf. I bent down and picked it up. Carved wood, carved little people and expensive looking. Who cares though, right? Grandma's here! At least that's what I imagine him to be thinking. Grandma's here, she'll buy it for me. And how do I know this? Because she loves me, that's how. Grandma loves me.
And, without even looking at the price, I took it up to the counter and bought said school bus. His little arms reaching for it--school bus, school bus! He wanted it now. I gave him his new school bus and away we went. He carried it all the way to the restaurant where we proceeded to try and get him to eat. But no, the minute I unwrapped his school bus he never let go. His little hands moving the wooden people in and out of the bus. His face concentrating on opening and closing the wooden door and stop sign. Take time to eat? No way! His job for the next hour was to figure out where to place his little wooden people in his new little wooden school bus.
That gift was a hit, a huge hit. As I pushed him in his stroller through the mall after lunch, every so often he'd look back at me and smile and he'd yell out school bus grandma, school bus. That little smile, that grin of pure joy is what grandmothers live for. That look of gratitude and thankfulness, that look of love really--it just steals my heart.
I love my 5 grandchildren. I'd do anything for them. I'd buy them the moon if they wanted it. Their little arms wrapped around my neck, the smiles while playing, the watching movies and eating popcorn together, those are grandma times. Important times. Memory times. Precious times.
I can still hear him you know--school bus grandma, school bus. And my heart smiles.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Carry Me
Sometimes I just need you to carry me.
To pick me up, put me on your shoulders and carry me.
When I can't walk, when I can't talk, when I can't breathe, just carry me.
You have done it before. You have said you'll come after me.
You will leave the others and come find me when I'm lost.
When I'm all alone, when I'm afraid, you will come.
That is who you are to me, the one who comes after me.
The one who comforts me, the who hears me when I cry.
The one who never lets me out of your sight,
not even for a second.
You are always there, your eyes on me.
Always watching, always protecting.
I sometimes think about those times when
I have chased you away or run from you.
Those times when I've screamed and yelled
when things didn't go my way.
And yet, there you were, arms held open
ready for me to run back to you.
That is what love is to me.
What you have shown me, what
you have done for me.
That you came for me, even when I ran,
you brought me home and held me closely.
I heard your heartbeat and you heard mine.
A true father's heart, it's what I live for.
It's what keeps me going. This knowing.
So please carry me, don't give up on me.
As I try so hard to please you, to serve you,
to learn from you, to praise you, to worship you.
A daughter's heart that needs to be carried by you.
To pick me up, put me on your shoulders and carry me.
When I can't walk, when I can't talk, when I can't breathe, just carry me.
You have done it before. You have said you'll come after me.
You will leave the others and come find me when I'm lost.
When I'm all alone, when I'm afraid, you will come.
That is who you are to me, the one who comes after me.
The one who comforts me, the who hears me when I cry.
The one who never lets me out of your sight,
not even for a second.
You are always there, your eyes on me.
Always watching, always protecting.
I sometimes think about those times when
I have chased you away or run from you.
Those times when I've screamed and yelled
when things didn't go my way.
And yet, there you were, arms held open
ready for me to run back to you.
That is what love is to me.
What you have shown me, what
you have done for me.
That you came for me, even when I ran,
you brought me home and held me closely.
I heard your heartbeat and you heard mine.
A true father's heart, it's what I live for.
It's what keeps me going. This knowing.
So please carry me, don't give up on me.
As I try so hard to please you, to serve you,
to learn from you, to praise you, to worship you.
A daughter's heart that needs to be carried by you.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Cute Jeans
It's funny what you notice about a person. For me it's usually something that a person (especially if it's a female) is wearing or their hair or shoes or earrings--I know that I sound shallow. And that's not really what I'm getting at here. What I'm trying to say is that I notice people. I tend to gravitate towards certain types. You know, the folks that I might have something in common with. It really doesn't matter what it is specifically that I notice. It's just that something will catch my eye and then--well then, it's usually because God has put them in my line of sight for a reason. Such is the case of what happened the other day.
We happened to be attending the same seminar when I looked over and noticed her jeans at the registration desk. They were so cute, I loved them and wondered where she had bought them. As we all moved into the large classroom to begin our lecture time I looked over to see her at the table right next to mine. Coincidence? I think not! And when we both happened to get up and go to get coffee at the same time I thought I'd compliment her on her awesome jeans. Well, we had an instant connection. It seems we both love fashion and we both love to shop. I then told her about a couple of cute little boutiques that I had found in my many shopping travels and wrote the addresses on a piece of paper for her. We were both happy to have found each other. New friends via cute jeans.
Just a few short hours later we were put together again and ended up finding out even more about each other. It's a miraculous thing to witness God bringing two new friends together. We prayed for each other, talked for awhile and exchanged business cards. A new friendship was made that day--all because of a pair of cute jeans. Maybe I'm the only one fascinated by the simple workings of God. I don't know. Maybe God was once again trying to show me His sovereignty. I'm not sure. He got my attention though. He made me stop, take notice and watch Him working around me. He made me wonder why He cares so much about all of us that He would arrange a silly little chance meeting between 2 women who otherwise never would have met. And yet, we did. Over jeans. Awesome.
Yes, we live in different towns, we go to different churches, we come from different cultures and yet God saw a need. God saw a reason why the two of us should meet. I marvel sometimes (OK all the time) over the workings of the mighty God whom I serve. He cares that much. He meets us just where we are. He finds the perfect person to bring into our lives on a perfect day. All we have to do is be aware, keep our eyes open and our hearts ready. He's got a plan. And I just happened to walk right into it that day.
I realize that I might not ever see her again. I know that sometimes God brings people into our lives for just a few short minutes or even a few short hours. Sometimes He brings them into our lives for a season and then again sometimes He brings them into our lives for a lifetime. Either way--I'm ready. I'm ready to be used, to pray, to serve, and to live for Him. I am also happy that He uses simple things to get my attention--cute jeans, that's all it took. Wow, I am a little shallow now that I think about it. :)
We happened to be attending the same seminar when I looked over and noticed her jeans at the registration desk. They were so cute, I loved them and wondered where she had bought them. As we all moved into the large classroom to begin our lecture time I looked over to see her at the table right next to mine. Coincidence? I think not! And when we both happened to get up and go to get coffee at the same time I thought I'd compliment her on her awesome jeans. Well, we had an instant connection. It seems we both love fashion and we both love to shop. I then told her about a couple of cute little boutiques that I had found in my many shopping travels and wrote the addresses on a piece of paper for her. We were both happy to have found each other. New friends via cute jeans.
Just a few short hours later we were put together again and ended up finding out even more about each other. It's a miraculous thing to witness God bringing two new friends together. We prayed for each other, talked for awhile and exchanged business cards. A new friendship was made that day--all because of a pair of cute jeans. Maybe I'm the only one fascinated by the simple workings of God. I don't know. Maybe God was once again trying to show me His sovereignty. I'm not sure. He got my attention though. He made me stop, take notice and watch Him working around me. He made me wonder why He cares so much about all of us that He would arrange a silly little chance meeting between 2 women who otherwise never would have met. And yet, we did. Over jeans. Awesome.
Yes, we live in different towns, we go to different churches, we come from different cultures and yet God saw a need. God saw a reason why the two of us should meet. I marvel sometimes (OK all the time) over the workings of the mighty God whom I serve. He cares that much. He meets us just where we are. He finds the perfect person to bring into our lives on a perfect day. All we have to do is be aware, keep our eyes open and our hearts ready. He's got a plan. And I just happened to walk right into it that day.
I realize that I might not ever see her again. I know that sometimes God brings people into our lives for just a few short minutes or even a few short hours. Sometimes He brings them into our lives for a season and then again sometimes He brings them into our lives for a lifetime. Either way--I'm ready. I'm ready to be used, to pray, to serve, and to live for Him. I am also happy that He uses simple things to get my attention--cute jeans, that's all it took. Wow, I am a little shallow now that I think about it. :)
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Fearless
I've decided to share something. I am being completely vulnerable, I am leaving myself open to criticism. So I guess in a sense, I am afraid. No. I am not afraid, that's why I'm sharing. I'll need to remind myself of that later.
I've been told that I am brave, that I have a certain--confidence, and that I am a fearless person--to some extent. However, please understand that what I share with you does not mean that I live a life empty of fear. I do not. I just chose to live my life fearlessly, based on something that I experienced years ago.
I was (please note the was) afraid of the dark--as a child and also as an adult. I was married, with children and approaching my 30's when my fear of darkness came to an ugly head. My husband's job was demanding more and more travel, that meant nights away and believe me when I tell you--that meant nights of no sleeping for me. The dark circles under my eyes should have given this phobia away, however, I hid my fear well. Not from my husband, of course, he found out early on about my fears. They pretty much consumed me. I am very thankful that he did not ridicule me--instead if I needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, he would get up and turn the light on for me. I was that afraid of the dark. Never could a room be completely without light, there always had to be a small crack left to illuminate the darkness that surrounded me at night. When darkness fell, my terror came alive. I do not know why. I have no answer. It just happened and had been happening from the time I was a small child. It might have come from a movie or television show. My guess is as good as yours. I do know though, that is was real and it was terrifying and it was taking over my life--this horrible fear of the dark.
At that time I was attending a women's Bible study at my church. As I sat there week after week being taught about God answering prayers, about healing, and miracles etc, I began to wonder--would He answer my prayer? Would He deliver me from this horrible fear of mine? Would He even care enough--after all who was I to even ask? One day those questions were fiercely bubbling up inside of me and as we were asked if we had any prayer needs before I could grab my hand back down, it shot up into the air and I blurted out--please pray for me! I began to sob as I told them about my fear of the dark. I was mortified that I had just shared my darkest secret. My shame. After all I was a Christian, wasn't I? Where was my faith? Where was my trust in God? I just knew they were judging me.
As I sat there crying though, I looked up and noticed that the entire room of women had surrounded me. Somewhere between 30-40 pairs of loving arms and sympathetic eyes were kneeling before me ready to pray. I have never felt so much love, kindness, and understanding in my life--not before nor since. I cried, they prayed, and we stayed that way for a very long time. Those are my real friends. Those who prayed with me and stayed until the job was done. They didn't need to say one word, they didn't need to placate me with verses from the Bible, they didn't need to share their own fears that day--no, all they needed to do was pray for me and show me with their kind actions that they were standing with me in the midst of my fears.
I went home that day feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I can't lie. I wondered what nightfall would bring. My husband was on a business trip once again. So, that night I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms chapter 91 and I read it and then laid it opened on my nightstand--
Psalm 91
When I woke up the next morning I realized that I had slept the whole night through. No fear--fearless.
God had heard my cry, God had answered my prayer, God had given me the most peaceful night's sleep that I had ever had. I cried. I really did. I felt so loved in that moment. I wondered--had I really been healed? Yes, yes I had. No more sleepless nights. No more fear of the dark. It was gone.
Why share this? Because I believe that when God does something miraculous in our lives we need to share it. We need to let others know. I learned something that day--we all have fears. And, there is not a thing we can do about it in and of ourselves. However, I serve an almighty God--who can do anything!
Fearless? Now I am! I can sleep in the pitch dark, I can walk through a dark house, I can go to the bathroom alone by myself--without the light on, I can stay home alone at night without giving it a second thought.
And if you don't think that's a miracle--then I don't know what one is! I am one very thankful fearless child of God. I am absolutely convinced that God allowed what I went through to happen to me for a reason. Nothing could make me think otherwise. There is nothing He can't do. I know--I've asked.
I've been told that I am brave, that I have a certain--confidence, and that I am a fearless person--to some extent. However, please understand that what I share with you does not mean that I live a life empty of fear. I do not. I just chose to live my life fearlessly, based on something that I experienced years ago.
I was (please note the was) afraid of the dark--as a child and also as an adult. I was married, with children and approaching my 30's when my fear of darkness came to an ugly head. My husband's job was demanding more and more travel, that meant nights away and believe me when I tell you--that meant nights of no sleeping for me. The dark circles under my eyes should have given this phobia away, however, I hid my fear well. Not from my husband, of course, he found out early on about my fears. They pretty much consumed me. I am very thankful that he did not ridicule me--instead if I needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, he would get up and turn the light on for me. I was that afraid of the dark. Never could a room be completely without light, there always had to be a small crack left to illuminate the darkness that surrounded me at night. When darkness fell, my terror came alive. I do not know why. I have no answer. It just happened and had been happening from the time I was a small child. It might have come from a movie or television show. My guess is as good as yours. I do know though, that is was real and it was terrifying and it was taking over my life--this horrible fear of the dark.
At that time I was attending a women's Bible study at my church. As I sat there week after week being taught about God answering prayers, about healing, and miracles etc, I began to wonder--would He answer my prayer? Would He deliver me from this horrible fear of mine? Would He even care enough--after all who was I to even ask? One day those questions were fiercely bubbling up inside of me and as we were asked if we had any prayer needs before I could grab my hand back down, it shot up into the air and I blurted out--please pray for me! I began to sob as I told them about my fear of the dark. I was mortified that I had just shared my darkest secret. My shame. After all I was a Christian, wasn't I? Where was my faith? Where was my trust in God? I just knew they were judging me.
As I sat there crying though, I looked up and noticed that the entire room of women had surrounded me. Somewhere between 30-40 pairs of loving arms and sympathetic eyes were kneeling before me ready to pray. I have never felt so much love, kindness, and understanding in my life--not before nor since. I cried, they prayed, and we stayed that way for a very long time. Those are my real friends. Those who prayed with me and stayed until the job was done. They didn't need to say one word, they didn't need to placate me with verses from the Bible, they didn't need to share their own fears that day--no, all they needed to do was pray for me and show me with their kind actions that they were standing with me in the midst of my fears.
I went home that day feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I can't lie. I wondered what nightfall would bring. My husband was on a business trip once again. So, that night I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms chapter 91 and I read it and then laid it opened on my nightstand--
Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
God had heard my cry, God had answered my prayer, God had given me the most peaceful night's sleep that I had ever had. I cried. I really did. I felt so loved in that moment. I wondered--had I really been healed? Yes, yes I had. No more sleepless nights. No more fear of the dark. It was gone.
Why share this? Because I believe that when God does something miraculous in our lives we need to share it. We need to let others know. I learned something that day--we all have fears. And, there is not a thing we can do about it in and of ourselves. However, I serve an almighty God--who can do anything!
Fearless? Now I am! I can sleep in the pitch dark, I can walk through a dark house, I can go to the bathroom alone by myself--without the light on, I can stay home alone at night without giving it a second thought.
And if you don't think that's a miracle--then I don't know what one is! I am one very thankful fearless child of God. I am absolutely convinced that God allowed what I went through to happen to me for a reason. Nothing could make me think otherwise. There is nothing He can't do. I know--I've asked.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Colors of Friendship
The view outside my bedroom window is one of yellow leaves, not quite yet gold, but soon. I love fall colors, every single one of them, every color, every hue. Fall is my favorite time of year, I love it even more than I love winter. I believe that once God decided to give us eyesight, he decided to give us color via flowers, trees, birds and various other beautiful gifts that are only made by him. I've heard it called God's paintbrush--I like that. Vivid and soft at the same time.
So, I sit in my room looking at the wonderful colors of my creator and I daydream. I think about family and friends, blessings and gifts and I become even more grateful with each passing moment. I am thankful for one thing right now in particular. Friendship. It means so much to me. To have a friend whom I can express my deepest thoughts, emotions, and dreams with--well, what can be better than that?
One of my closest friends just left. I gave her a ride to the airport yesterday and had to try hard to keep myself from tearing up as I drove back home. I looked at the beautiful scenery along the highway and streets leading back to my house and I thought--I shall always remember this visit--a visit with a good friend in the fall, she shall always be "painted" in my mind with yellows, oranges, and reds--the colors of autumn. I then thought about the other visitors I've had--what colors are they? And much to my surprise--yes, they had colors too. Sometimes the color of winter--fluffy snow and glittery frost, and sometimes the color of summer--the blues of water and white puffy clouds.
I am beginning to think I've lost it a little bit here, but really, it's how I remember each and every visit. With colors associated with seasons. And with friends associated with colors. I deeply love my friends--my true friends, those whom I can trust, depend on, lean on, share with and pray with. Why I have been so blessed is a mystery to me, however, I will not question God, I will just bask in the colors of friendship and enjoy my view.
So, I sit in my room looking at the wonderful colors of my creator and I daydream. I think about family and friends, blessings and gifts and I become even more grateful with each passing moment. I am thankful for one thing right now in particular. Friendship. It means so much to me. To have a friend whom I can express my deepest thoughts, emotions, and dreams with--well, what can be better than that?
One of my closest friends just left. I gave her a ride to the airport yesterday and had to try hard to keep myself from tearing up as I drove back home. I looked at the beautiful scenery along the highway and streets leading back to my house and I thought--I shall always remember this visit--a visit with a good friend in the fall, she shall always be "painted" in my mind with yellows, oranges, and reds--the colors of autumn. I then thought about the other visitors I've had--what colors are they? And much to my surprise--yes, they had colors too. Sometimes the color of winter--fluffy snow and glittery frost, and sometimes the color of summer--the blues of water and white puffy clouds.
I am beginning to think I've lost it a little bit here, but really, it's how I remember each and every visit. With colors associated with seasons. And with friends associated with colors. I deeply love my friends--my true friends, those whom I can trust, depend on, lean on, share with and pray with. Why I have been so blessed is a mystery to me, however, I will not question God, I will just bask in the colors of friendship and enjoy my view.
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