Today is my birthday. Some might be bothered by the giant number that I have now reached, not me though. I like getting older. I feel wise, experienced, well traveled, and loved. Very loved. And so for this--I feel grateful.
I am thankful for so many things in this sweet life of mine--parents and siblings, children and grandchildren, extended family and friends who are just like family. I am thankful for the many ways in which God has blessed me too. Material blessings abound in my life. I am very aware of my abundance in this area, and I never take it for granted.
Yes, having a birthday is a great time to sit and reflect. I woke up before the sun this morning with a prayer in my heart. I laid in bed for awhile just thanking God over and over for the way He has always been my real father. I prayed for a long time with a very grateful heart and then finally got up and moved into the family room where I could sit in my old brown leather rocking chair, coffee and laptop in hand--I needed to write.
I was just thinking back to all the many wonderful gifts that I've received over the years, and in all honesty, my best gift came to me when I was just 17 years old. It wasn't wrapped, didn't have a bow, but when I looked at it, I knew. Yes, it was going to be the one gift that I'd never return. The one gift that I would always hope to have and to keep for all of my days. My husband. He has made me feel so special and confident, so beautiful inside and out, so smart and worth something, he has been my one constant. What a gift God brought me that year! And, every year after that my life just got better and better, sweeter and sweeter.
Grateful? Thankful? Yes, because every day feels like a birthday to me.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Blog-Jacked Birthday
No this is not a posting from Veda - but a blog jacking by her most ardent admirer...
Happy Birthday to my awesome wife. As the saying goes "behind every good man is a better woman" and that holds true for me. I do not know how my life would have turned out without her- the joy, strength, and beauty she brings to our relationship is such a gift.
Babe, I hope you know how blessed I am to be your husband and partner in life, Love Jerry
PS... probably a good time to change your password :-)
Happy Birthday to my awesome wife. As the saying goes "behind every good man is a better woman" and that holds true for me. I do not know how my life would have turned out without her- the joy, strength, and beauty she brings to our relationship is such a gift.
Babe, I hope you know how blessed I am to be your husband and partner in life, Love Jerry
PS... probably a good time to change your password :-)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Yesterday's Musings
I had an interesting day yesterday. I started 2 new things, one being a ladies Bible study and the other being our couples small group, which is also a Bible study. Both are affiliated with our new church. I have been either leading or attending these types of get-togethers for approximately 40 years now. One might think I'd be burned out or tired, or maybe even have and I've heard it all before type of attitude, but I don't. I thoroughly enjoy getting together with other believers and discussing Biblical truths. I like being challenged, I like debates and I like sharing my heart and listening to the heartbeat of others. It's always been a huge part my life--this getting together with like minded people.
This will be my first time attending the ladies Bible study at my new church. I'm excited to get to know these new people. We've just been at this church a few months now, so I believe that this will be a great venue for making some new friends. We start with coffee (thank you God) some visiting, and then a video. We then break up into small groups to discuss the workbook and video. This is where things usually get interesting. Me, being trained in Psychology, am always fascinated by other's behavior patterns. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not there for a special group session, I am there to listen and learn. I also struggle with another issue, I am a pray-er, you know, a person who prays for others almost non-stop. As I listen to people share, I make mental notes on what I believe their needs are and then I begin to pray for them. It's just what I do and who I am. I can't help myself. Believe me, I've tried. But, that's another story, a later blog, and before I write about it, I'd have to pray. Do you see what I'm dealing with here? A never ending circle of listen, pray, pray, listen...
Back to this new Bible study--our book is about being Brave. I think that is a very interesting concept. Bravery. Honestly, I had never thought of myself as being particularly brave, however after looking at the chapter titles in our new book--well, maybe I am braver than I thought. Why? Because I did not feel that the titles really applied to me. I've made that mistake before though, and have been completely taken aback by what God taught me. So I've learned to be open minded, teachable and patient. I know that through the course of the next few months God will change me. He'll work on some issues in my heart that I am not even aware of. I am excited about what He is going to be doing in me (and for me) over the next few months. And where I thought I was brave or not so brave--He will show me things about myself, that will undoubtedly end up in this blog.
As far as our couples Bible study that meets in the evenings once a week--well, that's going to interesting too. We've decided to go through a book, chapter by chapter, and discuss a very interesting and somewhat controversial subject--why aren't our young adults attending church? I am praying through this study that our eyes are opened to the challenges of the church body today. There has definitely been a decline in attendance--but why? I have my viewpoint and thoughts on the matter, however, I might be all wrong. So, that's what we'll be talking and praying about.
On that subject, though I think I do want to share a couple of my own thoughts here. I want to see if I am even remotely close to the real reasons why our 20 and 30 somethings aren't interested in going to church.
For one thing--I wonder if the church (in general) is keeping up culturally with the times. Are our worship songs outdated and lifeless? Is there joy, a sense of celebration, a feeling of I'm so excited to be in church exuberant type of singing? Or instead, are we standing on tradition--singing funeral songs? That's what I call them. Old, tired, boring, sleepy hymns. I'm sorry, I'm just being as honest as I can be. And I'm trying to figure things out. I'm trying to see church through the eyes of the visitor, the unchurched, the unbeliever--and I'm not really liking what I'm seeing. Let's make the church feel like a place we want to go! Full of life, full of God, full of Jesus! Let's worship as if we are already in heaven!
For another thing, I think that God has taken a backseat in their lives. No longer are they living for Him, they want what He has to offer but only on their terms. They are too busy and too worn out to make time for God. It's a gimme, gimme society---that's for sure.
Also, (and I am aware that I might again be stepping on some toes here) I believe that there are some people (OK a lot) who feel that churches today are filled with hypocrites. That the so-called Christians of today are full of hate and discrimination, and so they want to distance themselves from that type of church going Christian. And I wonder--are they right? Is this what the world sees? Is this what we are portraying? Aren't they seeing Jesus in us? Or, are they seeing mean-spirited, judgmental, unforgiving, unaccepting, intolerant people--who just claim to know Christ?
We will see if I am even close to the real reasons as to why we are losing young families. In the meantime, I will be praying.
So, these are my musings from yesterday--much to think about and much more to pray about. Am I brave? I don't know. And why aren't more young adults attending church? I don't know. Maybe throughout these next few weeks, I'll receive some insight and answers to these questions of mine. I sure hope so. I have a lot of questions, I have a lot to pray about, I have a lot to learn. So, let the fun and the hard work begin!
This will be my first time attending the ladies Bible study at my new church. I'm excited to get to know these new people. We've just been at this church a few months now, so I believe that this will be a great venue for making some new friends. We start with coffee (thank you God) some visiting, and then a video. We then break up into small groups to discuss the workbook and video. This is where things usually get interesting. Me, being trained in Psychology, am always fascinated by other's behavior patterns. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not there for a special group session, I am there to listen and learn. I also struggle with another issue, I am a pray-er, you know, a person who prays for others almost non-stop. As I listen to people share, I make mental notes on what I believe their needs are and then I begin to pray for them. It's just what I do and who I am. I can't help myself. Believe me, I've tried. But, that's another story, a later blog, and before I write about it, I'd have to pray. Do you see what I'm dealing with here? A never ending circle of listen, pray, pray, listen...
Back to this new Bible study--our book is about being Brave. I think that is a very interesting concept. Bravery. Honestly, I had never thought of myself as being particularly brave, however after looking at the chapter titles in our new book--well, maybe I am braver than I thought. Why? Because I did not feel that the titles really applied to me. I've made that mistake before though, and have been completely taken aback by what God taught me. So I've learned to be open minded, teachable and patient. I know that through the course of the next few months God will change me. He'll work on some issues in my heart that I am not even aware of. I am excited about what He is going to be doing in me (and for me) over the next few months. And where I thought I was brave or not so brave--He will show me things about myself, that will undoubtedly end up in this blog.
As far as our couples Bible study that meets in the evenings once a week--well, that's going to interesting too. We've decided to go through a book, chapter by chapter, and discuss a very interesting and somewhat controversial subject--why aren't our young adults attending church? I am praying through this study that our eyes are opened to the challenges of the church body today. There has definitely been a decline in attendance--but why? I have my viewpoint and thoughts on the matter, however, I might be all wrong. So, that's what we'll be talking and praying about.
On that subject, though I think I do want to share a couple of my own thoughts here. I want to see if I am even remotely close to the real reasons why our 20 and 30 somethings aren't interested in going to church.
For one thing--I wonder if the church (in general) is keeping up culturally with the times. Are our worship songs outdated and lifeless? Is there joy, a sense of celebration, a feeling of I'm so excited to be in church exuberant type of singing? Or instead, are we standing on tradition--singing funeral songs? That's what I call them. Old, tired, boring, sleepy hymns. I'm sorry, I'm just being as honest as I can be. And I'm trying to figure things out. I'm trying to see church through the eyes of the visitor, the unchurched, the unbeliever--and I'm not really liking what I'm seeing. Let's make the church feel like a place we want to go! Full of life, full of God, full of Jesus! Let's worship as if we are already in heaven!
For another thing, I think that God has taken a backseat in their lives. No longer are they living for Him, they want what He has to offer but only on their terms. They are too busy and too worn out to make time for God. It's a gimme, gimme society---that's for sure.
Also, (and I am aware that I might again be stepping on some toes here) I believe that there are some people (OK a lot) who feel that churches today are filled with hypocrites. That the so-called Christians of today are full of hate and discrimination, and so they want to distance themselves from that type of church going Christian. And I wonder--are they right? Is this what the world sees? Is this what we are portraying? Aren't they seeing Jesus in us? Or, are they seeing mean-spirited, judgmental, unforgiving, unaccepting, intolerant people--who just claim to know Christ?
We will see if I am even close to the real reasons as to why we are losing young families. In the meantime, I will be praying.
So, these are my musings from yesterday--much to think about and much more to pray about. Am I brave? I don't know. And why aren't more young adults attending church? I don't know. Maybe throughout these next few weeks, I'll receive some insight and answers to these questions of mine. I sure hope so. I have a lot of questions, I have a lot to pray about, I have a lot to learn. So, let the fun and the hard work begin!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Genetics
I needed to wait awhile before writing this blog. I needed a few days. Sometimes, that's what I needed--time. Why? Because last week was the anniversary of the death of one of my nephews and it was also the birthday of another nephew (his older brother) who passed away a mere 10 months later. I guarantee you that these last few days have been extremely hard on my family and have been stirring up some deep emotions. So, I waited a bit before sharing this.
It was better for me also--to wait, to ponder, to decide--should I tell them? Should I really write about what I saw? I've decided to do it. To tell them. If it were me, I'd want to know.
It happened innocently enough this way. We were at my oldest son's house for a cook-out (that's what they call it in the mid-west). My little grandchildren were busy playing with trains, trucks, and dolls. I looked over and noticed the way one of my grandsons was sitting. Not cross-legged, not legs straight out in front of him--no, he had them folded behind him with his little feet pointed out, not in nor sitting with his little bum on top of his feet, no, they were pointed out, like little wings--just like my nephew used to sit. It caught my eye, and while I was processing the memory, I noticed something else--he had my nephews feet. A huge lump formed in my throat. I kept staring at his little body, watching him play with his cars and trucks, and I began to see other similarities. His side profile for example and even his cute little smile. I sat very still, studying him. And in him, I saw remnants of my nephew. Genetics.
I wish that my sister could have been there right at that very moment. I wish she could have seen the way God had used genetics to keep her son alive. Alive not just in our memories or using pictures but, in using those genes that are passed along from generation to generation. In my grandson--I saw my nephew. I've seen genetic effluences before in other family members. For example, my cousin's son looks like my sister. And, speaking of my sister--she has my grandmother's walk and body type. I've been told numerous times that my youngest granddaughter looks just like me and that I look just like my grandmother. Genetics.
It's alway been easy for me to see similarities between my own children and my husband and I. Our daughter has my face, but her father's hands and feet. Our oldest son has my looks with his father's height, and our youngest son is a carbon copy of his father, right down to his body gestures. I not only notice their looks but also their likes and dislikes--they are fashioned much after us. It's interesting to me. More importantly, though, I notice their hearts--they are like ours too. And that makes me happy.
When I was studying Psychology in college, we talked a lot about nature vs nurture. I've always hung in the middle, I personally believed that it was pretty much a 50/50 type of thing. However, now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's much more nature than I had ever realized. Don't misunderstand, I still believe strongly in the nurture part, very strongly. However, that nature thing, that genetic factor, that generational gene pool, well, that's got me wondering--just how much of me is purely genetics?
In the meantime, as I ponder genetics, and nature vs nurture, and generational heritage, I will be watching. I am curious--how far will the similarities stretch? Will I still be able to look at my little grandson as he grows up and continue to see my nephew? I hope so. I miss him. Just to be able to look into the faces of my children and grandchild and see my family members, my ancestors of old, and my heritage being carried on through history--well, that would just be awesome.
It was better for me also--to wait, to ponder, to decide--should I tell them? Should I really write about what I saw? I've decided to do it. To tell them. If it were me, I'd want to know.
It happened innocently enough this way. We were at my oldest son's house for a cook-out (that's what they call it in the mid-west). My little grandchildren were busy playing with trains, trucks, and dolls. I looked over and noticed the way one of my grandsons was sitting. Not cross-legged, not legs straight out in front of him--no, he had them folded behind him with his little feet pointed out, not in nor sitting with his little bum on top of his feet, no, they were pointed out, like little wings--just like my nephew used to sit. It caught my eye, and while I was processing the memory, I noticed something else--he had my nephews feet. A huge lump formed in my throat. I kept staring at his little body, watching him play with his cars and trucks, and I began to see other similarities. His side profile for example and even his cute little smile. I sat very still, studying him. And in him, I saw remnants of my nephew. Genetics.
I wish that my sister could have been there right at that very moment. I wish she could have seen the way God had used genetics to keep her son alive. Alive not just in our memories or using pictures but, in using those genes that are passed along from generation to generation. In my grandson--I saw my nephew. I've seen genetic effluences before in other family members. For example, my cousin's son looks like my sister. And, speaking of my sister--she has my grandmother's walk and body type. I've been told numerous times that my youngest granddaughter looks just like me and that I look just like my grandmother. Genetics.
It's alway been easy for me to see similarities between my own children and my husband and I. Our daughter has my face, but her father's hands and feet. Our oldest son has my looks with his father's height, and our youngest son is a carbon copy of his father, right down to his body gestures. I not only notice their looks but also their likes and dislikes--they are fashioned much after us. It's interesting to me. More importantly, though, I notice their hearts--they are like ours too. And that makes me happy.
When I was studying Psychology in college, we talked a lot about nature vs nurture. I've always hung in the middle, I personally believed that it was pretty much a 50/50 type of thing. However, now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's much more nature than I had ever realized. Don't misunderstand, I still believe strongly in the nurture part, very strongly. However, that nature thing, that genetic factor, that generational gene pool, well, that's got me wondering--just how much of me is purely genetics?
In the meantime, as I ponder genetics, and nature vs nurture, and generational heritage, I will be watching. I am curious--how far will the similarities stretch? Will I still be able to look at my little grandson as he grows up and continue to see my nephew? I hope so. I miss him. Just to be able to look into the faces of my children and grandchild and see my family members, my ancestors of old, and my heritage being carried on through history--well, that would just be awesome.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Family Lifestyles
We've just returned home from a weeks vacation visiting our children. We crossed 5 states to see everyone. We saw 6 adults, 5 children, 4 dogs and 2 cats. We stayed in 2 homes over 7 nights. In a word? Exhausted. And yet...fulfilled.
Being the analytical sort that I am I noticed some things on our travels. One thing that struck me was--first, the differing stages that my children were living in and secondly, the actual way they live. Their styles are completely different from ours and from each other. Yes, different from each other and different from me. They have become their own--in lifestyle, inhabit, in just plain living. Interesting, since I (or we) raised all 3 of them. However, once they married and moved into their own homes, they made their own lives with their mates. Their homes, their lives, their way of doing, living and being.
Oh wow, what a great time this observer had--analyzing, watching, wondering, pondering--my mind, eyes, and ears were aswirl.
As we started our vacation and went to visit the first house--we have the 1 child, 1 dog home. I would describe this home as small, quiet, and a thinkers home. One where television is an afterthought and books are in the forefront. I can see that creativity abounds and crafts along with cooking are the norm. It's easy with one child, especially a docile one. One who still takes naps, who plays quietly by himself and who is content with his little life as he knows it. This is the life my youngest son lives thus far. I'm sure it will change over the years, as they add to their family. The more the merrier as far as I am concerned--I am looking forward to seeing the development of life changes.
And then there is the home with 2 children under 4 years of age and 1 dog. This home is organized, it's the way it functions best. Since there are 2 children, there must be control. A large TV is a must so that one can get things done. There is the little girl who needs to be challenged with crafty ideas and there is the little one who climbs--everything. There is constant movement in this home, from the minute they wake until bedtime. Questions, talking, cartoons, and playtime are the norm in this home. And this is the life of my oldest son. They do not plan on any additions, so I will be content to watch these 2 grandchildren of mine grow and change and I will enjoy it to the fullest.
And then there is the home of 2 school age children, along with 2 large dogs and 2 cats. This home is large, with lots of noise. It is never really still or quiet until the lights go out at night. It's all about school here--with bulletin boards and schedules. Big backyards, swing-sets, friends over, and snack time are important here. I think of it as organized chaos. Lots of commotion and motion--it makes this home feel alive. Dogs barking, beds to make, chores to be done, dinners to plan. Structure and order are paramount here so it can be run in a timely fashion. This is the home of my oldest--my daughter. Watching these 2 grandchildren remind me of how fast time goes by. I do not want them to grow up.
And then there is the home of the 2 grandparents who have 1 dog, and who live a very quiet life. Oh who am I kidding, we don't live a quiet life! Even our dog is loud. No, we are (as described by the neighbors) the instigators. We have 3 TV's to which I am completely addicted to, we are constantly on the go, we love to walk, eat out, have friends over, go for coffee, go to church (and all related activities), yes, we are always on the go! Our home? It is always picked up, no toys or loads of laundry. There is always time to read, or clean or relax. Our dog is well trained, our (or mine) schedules are flexible and our lives are our own. Still, though, it is a quiet home. That's why sometimes, I have to make it not quiet. I miss the chaos of my children living with me. I miss the mess. I really do.
Yes, we live in a different time of life than our children do. We've been where they've been, lived where they've lived, experienced what they have. Stress, children, money issues, pets--we get it. Really we do. And when we smile and nod, we aren't really laughing at them--we're laughing with them. We understand the stress, however, we also understand that it all passes so quickly. Children move on to the next stage of life the minute you just figure out the one they're in.
Time jumps, it doesn't crawl. This is what I learned this past vacation. In order for me to capture it all--I have to jump right along with it. I have to keep up! I have to take all the mental pictures that I can. And so, I analyze, I watch, I observe, I appreciate, I value, I learn, I grow, I marvel at my children. They are all different. All special. All precious. All mine. And I love them. Thank you for letting me continue to be your mom. For bringing joy to my heart through your lives and the lives of your families.
Our family lifestyles--all the same, yet all different.
Being the analytical sort that I am I noticed some things on our travels. One thing that struck me was--first, the differing stages that my children were living in and secondly, the actual way they live. Their styles are completely different from ours and from each other. Yes, different from each other and different from me. They have become their own--in lifestyle, inhabit, in just plain living. Interesting, since I (or we) raised all 3 of them. However, once they married and moved into their own homes, they made their own lives with their mates. Their homes, their lives, their way of doing, living and being.
Oh wow, what a great time this observer had--analyzing, watching, wondering, pondering--my mind, eyes, and ears were aswirl.
As we started our vacation and went to visit the first house--we have the 1 child, 1 dog home. I would describe this home as small, quiet, and a thinkers home. One where television is an afterthought and books are in the forefront. I can see that creativity abounds and crafts along with cooking are the norm. It's easy with one child, especially a docile one. One who still takes naps, who plays quietly by himself and who is content with his little life as he knows it. This is the life my youngest son lives thus far. I'm sure it will change over the years, as they add to their family. The more the merrier as far as I am concerned--I am looking forward to seeing the development of life changes.
And then there is the home with 2 children under 4 years of age and 1 dog. This home is organized, it's the way it functions best. Since there are 2 children, there must be control. A large TV is a must so that one can get things done. There is the little girl who needs to be challenged with crafty ideas and there is the little one who climbs--everything. There is constant movement in this home, from the minute they wake until bedtime. Questions, talking, cartoons, and playtime are the norm in this home. And this is the life of my oldest son. They do not plan on any additions, so I will be content to watch these 2 grandchildren of mine grow and change and I will enjoy it to the fullest.
And then there is the home of 2 school age children, along with 2 large dogs and 2 cats. This home is large, with lots of noise. It is never really still or quiet until the lights go out at night. It's all about school here--with bulletin boards and schedules. Big backyards, swing-sets, friends over, and snack time are important here. I think of it as organized chaos. Lots of commotion and motion--it makes this home feel alive. Dogs barking, beds to make, chores to be done, dinners to plan. Structure and order are paramount here so it can be run in a timely fashion. This is the home of my oldest--my daughter. Watching these 2 grandchildren remind me of how fast time goes by. I do not want them to grow up.
And then there is the home of the 2 grandparents who have 1 dog, and who live a very quiet life. Oh who am I kidding, we don't live a quiet life! Even our dog is loud. No, we are (as described by the neighbors) the instigators. We have 3 TV's to which I am completely addicted to, we are constantly on the go, we love to walk, eat out, have friends over, go for coffee, go to church (and all related activities), yes, we are always on the go! Our home? It is always picked up, no toys or loads of laundry. There is always time to read, or clean or relax. Our dog is well trained, our (or mine) schedules are flexible and our lives are our own. Still, though, it is a quiet home. That's why sometimes, I have to make it not quiet. I miss the chaos of my children living with me. I miss the mess. I really do.
Yes, we live in a different time of life than our children do. We've been where they've been, lived where they've lived, experienced what they have. Stress, children, money issues, pets--we get it. Really we do. And when we smile and nod, we aren't really laughing at them--we're laughing with them. We understand the stress, however, we also understand that it all passes so quickly. Children move on to the next stage of life the minute you just figure out the one they're in.
Time jumps, it doesn't crawl. This is what I learned this past vacation. In order for me to capture it all--I have to jump right along with it. I have to keep up! I have to take all the mental pictures that I can. And so, I analyze, I watch, I observe, I appreciate, I value, I learn, I grow, I marvel at my children. They are all different. All special. All precious. All mine. And I love them. Thank you for letting me continue to be your mom. For bringing joy to my heart through your lives and the lives of your families.
Our family lifestyles--all the same, yet all different.
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