I'm going to ask your forgiveness before I even begin writing this blog. It might hurt a little. It did for me. Taking that long look back, seeing where I failed, asking God to forgive me, and then praying that I didn't leave any long-lasting scars.
You see, what I have learned over these past 6 plus decades of life is that it's all in the modeling--raising kids, that is. You lead, they follow. Whether we want them to or not. They do what we do. They see it all. And much to our chagrin, they're just like us. The good and the bad.
What prompted me to begin this? Millennials. And those who don't like them. As in, those who constantly complain about them. Those millennials, they say. As if it's such a derogatory word. What I want to ask is--who raised them? Those silly millennials with their heads in the clouds, making mistake after mistake, and most definitely not doing what they're told. Who in fact raised them?
There it is. There's the truth staring right back at us. The mirror. Why did no one tell us that our kids would be a direct reflection of us--that is my question! Maybe I would have tried harder--parenting I mean. Maybe I would have been just a little more like Jesus and a little less like me.
So, what brought this on? People on social media complaining, blaming and calling out the kids in their 20's and 30's. Call them out all you'd like, however, you're looking in a mirror. And, maybe, just like me, you can admit that you might have failed, at least in some respect. At least concerning the parts about them that you don't like. Let's break it down, shall we?
What exactly did your kids see in your home? You know, the one you raised them in? Did they see what the Bible refers to as the Fruit of the Spirit? Love, joy, peace, and patience? Or did they see meanness, sadness, arguing, and impatience? For me, honestly, it depended upon the day. I tried, I did. However, sometimes, ok, most of the time I failed. Sometimes I didn't show much love. And there were many days when being joyful wasn't on my calendar. Peace? With 3 kids? You've got to be kidding me! There were many days when I wondered if I'd get through those child-rearing times. And what about the times people would pull out in front of me on the freeway and cut me off and oops, there I'd go, yelling at them again! Patience? Fail.
I know what my kids saw at home. I was there. They saw a mom who failed many many times and then got back up the next morning to try all over again. Which made me wonder--who did I parent like? My folks or Jesus? I often wondered what Jesus would have been like as a father--with his own kids. I could just imagine Him sitting there patiently, reading them stories, talking to them about faith, being so patient and kind. It's what I strived for. That being like Jesus thing.
There's no way I can/could blame my kids for the way they turned out. All their faults are mimicking mine. Their impatience, their lack of peace or joy, they are in the truest sense, a carbon copy of my husband and myself--the good and the bad.
At some point in their child-rearing times, I made a decision. I was going to try. And try-hard. I was going to be my very best, as best as I could. I would pray every morning that God would give me patience, kindness, joy, peace, and love. I prayed every day that I would be a good mom. Instilling values, principles, and love. I knew if my kids needed a role model, I'd be it. I'd be the one who they patterned their lives after, and if I didn't like something that I saw, I would correct it, in them and in me. I learned to apologize for my bad parenting skills and I also learned to thank God every time He showed me a better way to parent.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is why? Why are people exclaiming about the youth of today? They made them, they were their role models. If you don't like what you're seeing, then maybe examine your own lifestyle (and heart) and change that. It isn't the millennial's fault. Not at all. They are doing nothing more than what they were taught. Own it, parents. And, if you don't like it, change it. Learn to ask them for forgiveness, learn from your mistakes, pray for them, and stop asking--what's wrong with kids these days.
