Do you know what I am hoping for next year? I am hoping for stability. I know that sounds a little melodramatic, however, this past year has hit me a little hard. There have been way too many changes for me. To some they might seem like simple changes, to me, they were more like life changes. And to tell you the truth, I am tired. I feel emotionally worn out and I would like for things to become simple. Quiet, calm, unchanging...am I asking for too much? Probably.
It's not going to keep me from praying that way though. I don't want anyone to die, I don't want to move, I don't want to lose another dog, and I don't want to be lonely. What I do want is this--I want lots of time with family and friends. I want to travel, and I want to play/train my new puppy. I want to eat healthily and I want the pain in my hip to subside. I'm thinking that all these things sound reasonable.
And there is one thing I know for sure, one stable thing. God has never ever failed me. Does that mean that everything will be just how I want it to be, or go just how I want it to go? No. It just means that like this year, He will walk me through all the processes of change. If there are any. Which I hope there aren't. However, you and I both know that there will be. There always is. Change. I won't be alone though, no matter what happens, no matter if I move again (gasp) or if someone I love dies, or if, if, if--God will shield me. From what? Myself. He will shield me from me. I need that more than anything. I need to realize on a moment by moment basis that He is in complete control of my life and others around me. And I need to accept those changes in my life as good things because all good things come from Him and Him alone.
So, in all my talk about stability, maybe I should be trying harder to be aware of all the work that God is doing around me. Maybe this year, I'll be more in tune with what He's doing in my life and others, and maybe just maybe by this time next year--I'll be just a little wiser. Maybe.
