I've heard it called all kinds of things--from religion, to faith, to spirituality, to Christianity. I'm not sure what to call it any more. It's getting harder and harder to define and to defend my faith. There are so many watered down versions, and so many man made variations that it's hard to separate fact from fiction--well, my kind of fact anyway. It's very frustrating to me.
What do I believe? Is it simple, holy, pure and true? Does this faith that I have please God? Should politics mix with faith? And what about human rights? Where do they fit in? And why is it, that through all the junk out there--why is it that I still believe in God and love Him more each day? Why do I feel closer to Him, and why do I want to share this faith, my faith with others?
It's so simple--really. It's a simple basic faith--the faith of a child. That fits me. That's who I am.
I believe in the Bible, literally, 100%.
I believe I should study it to please God.
I believe that I should worship God.
I believe that God created the earth and man.
I believe that Jesus is God's son.
I believe in grace and forgiveness--for me to receive and for me to give.
I believe in obedience to God.
I believe in heaven and hell.
These are my basic beliefs.
I like to read the words of Jesus--you know, those red words in the Bible. Because sometimes rather than read just about the history, I need to hear Jesus talk. Just Him. Something happens to me then--I begin to listen and not talk, I begin to comprehend what is written, and I slowly begin to understand. The questions fade into the background and become almost silly to me. They become irrelevant. I realize that all along all I needed was Him, I needed His words not mine. Basic, simple, true, pure, undiluted, untouched, undefiled, just Him.
I hope, no, I know that my foundation is strong. I feel that I am like that tree that was planted by a river years and years ago. Over time my roots have grown deep. Even through the storms, hurricanes, and tornados of this life and even though I've been bent and broken and when sometimes there has been nothing more than a stub and maybe a few broken branches left--I still believe. And over time I've noticed that when I'm patient, I watch as little leaves begin to grow back--slowly. My life begins to make sense again and once the storm is over--I'm stronger in my faith. God shows me that if I walk and trust only in Him--He'll always be there, to teach me and guide me, protect me and show me which path to take in this crazy life of mine.
I'm tired. I'm tired of religion. I just want God. I just want my Bible. No other books, or philosophies, no more ideas, or new truths. Just Him. I want to watch how Jesus does it, I want to walk like Him. That to me is what a real Christian is--someone who walks, talks, acts and truly follows the teachings of Christ. I hear people today say that it's too hard--it's not. I hear people today say that there are too many hypocrites--there are. However, I also notice that we live in a very self centered society, I am just as guilty as the next--but I promise, I am trying so hard to walk with God. To be like His son Jesus, to act like Him, to love like Him, to forgive like Him...
Simple, basic and true--I'm trying.
2 comments:
Mom, thank you for sharing your child like faith. I know that God has used it to influence me and show me that it is in Christ alone that matters. I know you are put off my doctrine and theology, but it isn't all bad or evil. There is a theology out there, one that says that all off scripture and that all of history points to the one true living God. This theology looks at the old testament as a part of God's sovereign plan for redemption, and illuminates mans depravity and inability to be reconciled to God apart from Christ.
I remember being only drawn to those words in red, and feeling as if the rest of the bible was confusing and almost distracted from Christ's teaching. Growing up in the AG/Non-Denominational church, I would leave sermon after sermon (and Sunday school), more confused and with more questions. It has only been recently, within the past few years, that I was able to find pockets of Christianity that exist and believe what you and I believe. That it is "By grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone."
I than began to discover that there were men who went before me, and defended this faith against the false teachings of their days, as well as teaching that only served to distract from the risen God (and which seem to come up again even today). These reformers, along with their writings, is what brought like minded people together, and call themselves "reformed thinkers."
I know you don't want to put a label on yourself, but your blog post would put you into the "reformed theology" category.
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/about-us/what-we-believe.aspx
I love you Curtis, and I am not put off by what you believe as I think we believe the same. I am so very proud of you and your strong faith. God has truly blessed me beyond anything I ever dreamed of when he gave me children like you and your brother and sister.
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