I rode a roller coaster this past weekend. No, not a real one. Never a real one. An emotional one. That's about as real as I get when it comes to roller coasters. Yes, this weekend was a true ride of emotions for me. I guess it really started on Thursday night. We had our bi-monthly Stephen Ministries meeting. While there, our group leader asked if we might all share just how we came to know Christ. And of course, I cried as I shared just a short very condensed version of how I came to know Jesus. I left feeling a little spent.
Friday wasn't too bad of a day. Oh, who am I kidding, yes it was. I had my normal Friday morning coffee with friends. We laughed, we shared, we figured out the world's problems and then my husband and I met with our attorney. I honestly didn't think this little meeting was going to bother me. I was wrong. It bothered me--only I didn't know it at the time. We met her to set up a trust. Yep, a "just in case"--you know, just in case one of us kicks the bucket. With my husband leaving for Africa soon, he was eager to get this little appointment over with. We talked about a lot of things that afternoon, sitting there with our new lawyer, talking about houses, cars, jewelry, handbags (hey, don't judge) and various other items. Who to leave what to, who should be the trustee--yes, I learned a lot that afternoon, more than I ever wanted to know. We're all set now. If something happens to one of us--we are as ready as we'll ever be. I left feeling a little spent.
Saturday was a fun day. We went to a little town recommended to me by a friend. It was awesome. Quaint little shops full of vintage treasures, and a cute little tea house for lunch to finish off the day. We had fun. I needed that day. A day with my husband--wandering, exploring, daydreaming, planning, coffee, lunch, and memories. I think I was storing up. For what? I don't know yet. I left feeling a little spent.
When Sunday morning rolled around, I was done. It was Mother's Day. Can I admit something here? I kind of hate Mother's Day. I have for the last couple of years anyway. You know how I am by now. Honest. Especially with my thoughts and feelings. I am not a fan of Mother's Day. I no longer live in the same city with my mother nor my children. So, for me, the day is a complete bust. I wake up depressed and have to do a ton of praying to even get motivated enough to get ready for church. However, being the tough cookie that I am, I do it. I suck it up and I go. And, after a bit, just standing in the presence of my God and worshipping, I relax.
My husband always takes good care of me. He knows how these holidays affect me when I'm not with my kids, so he pampers me. He took me to lunch and then when we got home we went for a bike ride. Not just any bike ride. Nope, this one was quite special. Why? Well, let me tell you why. This year for Mother's Day, my husband turned my cute little teal colored Dutch bike into an electric bike. He bought a new wheel with a motor on it for the back tire and also a battery pack. It's awesome. He did all the work himself and spent hours working on it several nights a week. It can go for about 25 miles on a charge. It just purrs right along with barely a whisper. We decided to ride to our little downtown, we stopped for coffee and did a little shopping and then motored on home. He was "a huffin and a puffin" while I motored on by--not the least bit sweaty. I hate sweat by the way. So for me to get home feeling not one bit sore or tired or sweaty was nice, very nice. He had spent weeks working on that cute little bike of mine. It was my Mother's Day gift. He knew it would be a hard day for me--without my children. So, he turned it all around and put a huge smile on my face. We had fun. Still, after the long day of trying hard to not think about Mother's Day--I left our little downtown feeling a little spent.
Yes, this was a rough weekend for me. I miss my kids. I miss my mom. I miss my grandchildren. However, I am very thankful--for an understanding patient God and for a kind and loving husband. I am glad that Mother's Day is over. I don't have to think about it for another year. I can now relax and move forward. I can ride my bike, look at my cards and flowers, and live a thankful, grateful, fearless life--no longer spent. I woke up this morning feeling fine, looking forward to the day--lunch with a new friend, dinner later with my husband. Yes, glad that this weekend is over, glad that there is a new year ahead of me.
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