A Day at the Beach

I have a new obsession.  Going to the beach.  I can honestly say that I have not spent much time at a beach or pool as far as floating on a raft or sunbathing goes in over a decade.  However, a miracle has occurred.  And what might that be, you ask?  I've lost weight.  Plain and simple.  I no longer feel horribly fat.  In fact, I purchased a new swimsuit the other day--the first one I've bought in about 15 years.  And I bought shorts!  3 pair!  Really!

In our last house in California, we had a pool.  It was very pretty, with a rock waterfall on one end.  There were 3 levels of water noise--one was a babbling brook sound, but I don't remember what the other 2 were called, oh wait, one might have been called waterfall, duh!  What I do remember though is floating on my raft and soaking up the sun--drifting, dreaming, tanning.  It felt like a vacation day every day.  I loved that pool.  One day after we sold our house and moved to the Midwest I was in Costco when all of a sudden I was hit with an overwhelming nostalgic feeling--I smelled chlorine and was transported right back to my home in California.  I was depressed for several days after that quasi-pool encounter.  It's hard to explain, but it really did happen.  The smells, the sadness, the longing for my past.  Those big ol' pallets of pool supplies almost brought me to tears.  The smell of chlorine, the memories of my pool, floating on my raft, yelling at my kids (for all sorts of pool violations) and poolside b-b-q's--yes, the tears almost came.  I had to remind myself though that I was out in public, so I pulled myself together and decided to avoid Costco until pool season was over.

Back to my obsession--why have I avoided all things pool inspired over the last decade?  In a word--self-conscienceness.  I was very overweight and felt extremely ugly.  I was unhappy with what I had become.  And, I had no one to blame but myself.  I ate because I was lonely, bored, friendless and because my kids were growing up and moving out.  My life as I once knew it was changing rapidly and I could not get off that awful roller coaster of emotional upheaval no matter how hard I tried.  I did try, believe me.  I tried every diet known, but after losing a few pounds something would happen to trigger my bad eating habits and there I would go again--cookies and candy--my biggest downfall.  Emotional eater you wonder?  Again, duh!

When we moved to the Chicagoland area a couple of years ago, it got even worse.  Now I was far away from everyone--friends and family, church and work friends, kids and grandkids--there was no one to talk to, no one to go places with and food became, once again, my only friend.  However, last year on October 1, 2011, I had an epiphany.  I've already written about it so I won't go into it again.  I am now 35 pounds lighter, I exercise regularly (and that word wasn't even in my vocabulary before) and I eat a low carb diet.

Enter the beach phenomenon.  I was shown the man-made beach area by our realtor even before we bought our house.  Our realtor proudly took us to this huge man-made pool/beach right in the middle of town.  It is big, I mean big!  With real sand, diving boards, a slide--chairs, tables, umbrellas and b-b-q's.  This thing looks and sounds like a real live beach, and it's just across the river from--guess where?  That's right, my new house.  For 2 years I avoided it.  When friends and family came to visit I made excuses not to go there.  Let's just say that I kept them real busy sight seeing so as to steer clear of that place altogether.  No one was going to see me in a swimsuit--no one!

And then came the weight loss.  One day while driving past the beach I had a thought--maybe I could go there now!  I went home and pulled out my 15-year-old swim suits, tried them on and was completely shocked--they were all too big!  They hung on me.  So, off to the mall, I went.  I bought a new suit, some shorts, and why stop there?  How about a new beach towel (or 2) and what about a couple of cute new beach chairs, and oh there's a fun little beach cabana!  Yes, I was on a roll--after taking off a few!  A beach roll.  A new and exciting time of my life was about to begin and off to the beach/pool we went.  Wow, it was amazing.  I laid in the sun, I read my Kindle, I felt the water on my skin, and I remembered what it used to be like in my own pool.  For the first time in over 12 years I was actually laying out in a swimming suit with other people around me, and I wasn't trying desperately to hide.  It truly was a miracle for this self-diagnosed wack a- doodle person with a poor body image!

Life for me is now a little bit better.  Ok, it's a whole lot better with the beach in my life.  I am loving it. No more worrying about how fat I look.  Now, I go a couple of times a week, and I pretend that I am on vacation somewhere exotic.   I hold hands with my boyfriend/husband, I read, I eat my low carb lunch out of my new little beach cooler, I lay on my new beach towel while wearing my new swimsuit, I get my tan and feel like a million bucks!  Yes, it's a whole lot better now.

No, I am not the youngest, hottest thing out there, but I never was.  I am, however, healthy and having a blast.  After avoiding this awesome beach/pool for 2 years, I am making up for lost time.  I am excited about this new little discovery of mine.  And who knows, it might be just the thing I need to inspire me each year to stay on my low carb diet and to keep working out.  That little ol' first day at the beach might be what keeps me on the straight and narrow.  My next adventure will be braving the beaches of Lake Michigan.  Yes, one day you might see me there, toting my beach cabana, new chair and cooler, sporting my new suit and shorts, new beach towel flung over my shoulder.  Yep, a day at the beach--that's what is so sweet about my life right now.