We've just returned home from a weeks vacation visiting our children. We crossed 5 states to see everyone. We saw 6 adults, 5 children, 4 dogs and 2 cats. We stayed in 2 homes over 7 nights. In a word? Exhausted. And yet...fulfilled.
Being the analytical sort that I am I noticed some things on our travels. One thing that struck me was--first, the differing stages that my children were living in and secondly, the actual way they live. Their styles are completely different from ours and from each other. Yes, different from each other and different from me. They have become their own--in lifestyle, inhabit, in just plain living. Interesting, since I (or we) raised all 3 of them. However, once they married and moved into their own homes, they made their own lives with their mates. Their homes, their lives, their way of doing, living and being.
Oh wow, what a great time this observer had--analyzing, watching, wondering, pondering--my mind, eyes, and ears were aswirl.
As we started our vacation and went to visit the first house--we have the 1 child, 1 dog home. I would describe this home as small, quiet, and a thinkers home. One where television is an afterthought and books are in the forefront. I can see that creativity abounds and crafts along with cooking are the norm. It's easy with one child, especially a docile one. One who still takes naps, who plays quietly by himself and who is content with his little life as he knows it. This is the life my youngest son lives thus far. I'm sure it will change over the years, as they add to their family. The more the merrier as far as I am concerned--I am looking forward to seeing the development of life changes.
And then there is the home with 2 children under 4 years of age and 1 dog. This home is organized, it's the way it functions best. Since there are 2 children, there must be control. A large TV is a must so that one can get things done. There is the little girl who needs to be challenged with crafty ideas and there is the little one who climbs--everything. There is constant movement in this home, from the minute they wake until bedtime. Questions, talking, cartoons, and playtime are the norm in this home. And this is the life of my oldest son. They do not plan on any additions, so I will be content to watch these 2 grandchildren of mine grow and change and I will enjoy it to the fullest.
And then there is the home of 2 school age children, along with 2 large dogs and 2 cats. This home is large, with lots of noise. It is never really still or quiet until the lights go out at night. It's all about school here--with bulletin boards and schedules. Big backyards, swing-sets, friends over, and snack time are important here. I think of it as organized chaos. Lots of commotion and motion--it makes this home feel alive. Dogs barking, beds to make, chores to be done, dinners to plan. Structure and order are paramount here so it can be run in a timely fashion. This is the home of my oldest--my daughter. Watching these 2 grandchildren remind me of how fast time goes by. I do not want them to grow up.
And then there is the home of the 2 grandparents who have 1 dog, and who live a very quiet life. Oh who am I kidding, we don't live a quiet life! Even our dog is loud. No, we are (as described by the neighbors) the instigators. We have 3 TV's to which I am completely addicted to, we are constantly on the go, we love to walk, eat out, have friends over, go for coffee, go to church (and all related activities), yes, we are always on the go! Our home? It is always picked up, no toys or loads of laundry. There is always time to read, or clean or relax. Our dog is well trained, our (or mine) schedules are flexible and our lives are our own. Still, though, it is a quiet home. That's why sometimes, I have to make it not quiet. I miss the chaos of my children living with me. I miss the mess. I really do.
Yes, we live in a different time of life than our children do. We've been where they've been, lived where they've lived, experienced what they have. Stress, children, money issues, pets--we get it. Really we do. And when we smile and nod, we aren't really laughing at them--we're laughing with them. We understand the stress, however, we also understand that it all passes so quickly. Children move on to the next stage of life the minute you just figure out the one they're in.
Time jumps, it doesn't crawl. This is what I learned this past vacation. In order for me to capture it all--I have to jump right along with it. I have to keep up! I have to take all the mental pictures that I can. And so, I analyze, I watch, I observe, I appreciate, I value, I learn, I grow, I marvel at my children. They are all different. All special. All precious. All mine. And I love them. Thank you for letting me continue to be your mom. For bringing joy to my heart through your lives and the lives of your families.
Our family lifestyles--all the same, yet all different.
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