Genetics

I needed to wait awhile before writing this blog.  I needed a few days.  Sometimes, that's what I needed--time.  Why? Because last week was the anniversary of the death of one of my nephews and it was also the birthday of another nephew (his older brother) who passed away a mere 10 months later.  I guarantee you that these last few days have been extremely hard on my family and have been stirring up some deep emotions.  So, I waited a bit before sharing this.

It was better for me also--to wait, to ponder, to decide--should I tell them?  Should I really write about what I saw?  I've decided to do it.  To tell them.  If it were me, I'd want to know.

It happened innocently enough this way.  We were at my oldest son's house for a cook-out (that's what they call it in the mid-west).  My little grandchildren were busy playing with trains, trucks, and dolls.  I looked over and noticed the way one of my grandsons was sitting. Not cross-legged, not legs straight out in front of him--no, he had them folded behind him with his little feet pointed out, not in nor sitting with his little bum on top of his feet, no, they were pointed out, like little wings--just like my nephew used to sit.  It caught my eye, and while I was processing the memory, I noticed something else--he had my nephews feet.   A huge lump formed in my throat.  I kept staring at his little body, watching him play with his cars and trucks, and I began to see other similarities.  His side profile for example and even his cute little smile.  I sat very still, studying him.  And in him, I saw remnants of my nephew.  Genetics.

I wish that my sister could have been there right at that very moment.  I wish she could have seen the way God had used genetics to keep her son alive.  Alive not just in our memories or using pictures but, in using those genes that are passed along from generation to generation.  In my grandson--I saw my nephew.  I've seen genetic effluences before in other family members.  For example, my cousin's son looks like my sister.  And, speaking of my sister--she has my grandmother's walk and body type.  I've been told numerous times that my youngest granddaughter looks just like me and that I look just like my grandmother.  Genetics.

It's alway been easy for me to see similarities between my own children and my husband and I.  Our daughter has my face, but her father's hands and feet.  Our oldest son has my looks with his father's height, and our youngest son is a carbon copy of his father, right down to his body gestures.  I not only notice their looks but also their likes and dislikes--they are fashioned much after us.  It's interesting to me.  More importantly, though, I notice their hearts--they are like ours too.  And that makes me happy.

When I was studying Psychology in college, we talked a lot about nature vs nurture.  I've always hung in the middle, I personally believed that it was pretty much a 50/50 type of thing.  However, now I'm not so sure.  Maybe it's much more nature than I had ever realized.  Don't misunderstand, I still believe strongly in the nurture part, very strongly.  However, that nature thing, that genetic factor, that generational gene pool, well, that's got me wondering--just how much of me is purely genetics?  

In the meantime, as I ponder genetics, and nature vs nurture, and generational heritage, I will be watching.  I am curious--how far will the similarities stretch?  Will I still be able to look at my little grandson as he grows up and continue to see my nephew?  I hope so.  I miss him.  Just to be able to look into the faces of my children and grandchild and see my family members, my ancestors of old, and my heritage being carried on through history--well, that would just be awesome.