What a strange year this has been. Everything was seemingly normal until 6 months ago when wham, everything changed. Our lives as we knew them were turned upside down. Sometimes I like that. I like when things change and there's an air of expectancy, you just know that something fun is about to happen. That wasn't the case this time.
No, we had gone and done exactly what I never wanted to do. I had plugged in and made friends in the new little town we had moved to 5 years ago. How dumb was that? We knew we weren't staying long. As I've said before, I thought maybe 2 or 3 years, tops. And then we'd move back to where we'd be closer to our kids and grandkids. However, those 2 or 3 years turned into 5 years and my heart (at least a piece of it) now belonged to them. Them being the friends and neighbors we made while living there. You'd think I'd learn, but no. I like people, and I like to make friends, and I really like to explore my surroundings, and then I fall in love with all the above.
Why do I do that? I know it's only going to hurt when I leave. I guess it's just the way God made me. I'm a plugger inner. Who knew? So, for 5 years I either spent Christmas in our new little town or we'd go to one of our kid's houses. Either way, it never felt normal. To me, it felt strange and temporary, almost as if we were all staying at a hotel. And while that may sound like fun, it's not. Not at Christmas. I need those warm fuzzy feelings of hearth and home. I need the smell of cookies and firewood, trees, and bread to make it feel like Christmas.
One of our Christmases we did manage to all end up at our house, 14 of us. It was so much fun for me that I almost forgot that we all lived in different towns and cities and states. Almost. After they all went home I cried. I missed my old house, my old life, and my kids.
This past August we moved back to Ohio, close to 2 of our kids and only 6 hours away from another. That might sound like a long way away, but after a 13-hour drive to visit them, well, this seems like a cake walk. I am over the moon with happiness to be so close to my kids. I love it. I love everything about it. The babysitting, the visiting, the lunches and dinners, the holidays. It's wonderful. Almost.
What I didn't realize is that this Christmas I would be desperately missing my friends and neighbors. I thought (I hoped) it would be an easy transition. After all, isn't this what I wanted? Didn't I want to live close to my children and grandchildren? And yet, even though the answer to that question is a resounding YES, I still miss and long for my friends. What a strange year this has turned out to be.
One might think that the moral of this story would be to avoid friendships altogether--if you live a nomadic life such as mine that is. But that just isn't my personality or character. I happen to make friends wherever I go, whether it's on vacation or a business trip or a move across the country. I am the type to plug in, make friends, hunker down, and nest. That's what I do, I nest. And I'm OK with that. For I have found that over these many years of bouncing around, and all these years of collecting friends, and all these years of meeting the most incredible people, well, I wouldn't change a thing. They have influenced my life in ways they'll never know. I wouldn't be who I am today without them--they have been such a huge part of who I have become.
So, this Christmas I am asking that you allow me to be a little sad. I'm OK. I just miss my friends. It isn't that I don't love my family or that I didn't want to move back to Ohio. It's just a very simple fact of life--when you make friends and move away from them, something deep down inside is missing. I'll hold on to my memories though and hope and pray that they'll come visit me. And I them. For I deeply love them and can't imagine a life without them.
Merry Christmas everyone. Hold tight to your friends and family this year. For you never know where you'll be next year. You just never know.
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