Changes

It still makes me look twice. You see, we rearranged the master bedroom and repainted over the weekend. While I love the new look, I'm still a little shocked every time I round the corner. It looks completely different, and all we did was paint one wall, move some furniture, and buy 2 new lampshades. And yet--it's all very different. Don't get me wrong, I love the new look, it's just taking me a while to get used to it.

You'd think I'd adapt much quicker, what with my track record of moving. I moved almost every year as a child and have moved numerous times as an adult, and yet, change of any kind is somewhat hard on me. Good or bad change — it really doesn't matter; it's still a bit unnerving. I realize now that that aspect of my personality will most likely never change (no pun intended)--not at my age, anyway. Change will always be hard on me. I wonder if it's that way for everyone? Or am I in the minority?

The insecurities that I wrestle with come about, I am sure, with my many moves. Never really settling in, always knowing that soon, I would be jerked up and replanted. As a kid, there was nothing I could do about it, as an adult--well, there's not much I could do about that either when I think about it. That stinks. I would have thought by now I would have some control over my own life. But no. No control. Just change--scary change. I don't like it. Or do I?

However, I have this little problem. It's called being positive — always seeing the silver lining in every cloud. I believe that God made me that way — to cope with life. And so with every move, I ferret out the good things about said move and throw out the bad and scary stuff. And I've learned to adapt. Because I am an optimist. My husband doesn't realize what an enormous gift this is. Or does he?

Is that why I need to change every so often?  I crave it. Even if it's something as simple as painting a wall. Moving a chair. Buying a lampshade. I need the change for self- preservation. Yes, I think that's it. For my mental well-being, every once in a while I need a little change in my life — maybe to remember that I am alive and that change is OK, good even. Change is good, fun, stretching, and life.

Yes, this little change over the weekend has made me feel good. I needed something. And this fit the bill — as they say. This made all the difference in the world to my mental state. It was fun, challenging (you've never had to paint a room with a paint hater, have you?), and exciting. It made me happy.

I think I'll sit in there now and read for a while.  It's so pretty and different and changed...and it didn't hurt a bit.