Same Time Next Year

I am forever indebted to whoever created/invented the internet, Facebook and any other source of media that was used to help me find my old friends.  And by old, I mean those girls I went to high school with.  Because something pretty awesome has happened.  A couple of years ago when I made my way back to my hometown for a visit I was able to track down a few of my high school friends and get together for coffee.  Then last year when I went back home for a visit, our little group multiplied and 20 of us or so met for lunch.  This year?  Well, this year was something else entirely.  This year as we were "talking" back and forth via our very own Facebook group page (that was set up for our graduating class) I let everyone know that I was coming into town.   And like my last visit I wanted to meet as many as possible for lunch.  As it turned out, lots more than we anticipated wanted to join in the festivities, so one of our most gracious friends (who just happened to be visiting from Australia no less) and her mom invited all over to their house.  There were over 30 of us that ended up attending that day and boy, did we have fun.  So, this is my rendition of our time together on that very special day--my thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc.  It's a little scattered, like me.  But also, full of heart, like me.  Here goes nothing...

When did I grow up?  That's what I'd like to know.  How did I go from being just 17 years old to being (almost) 57 years old?  And what happened in-between?  I've got a lot of questions, that's for sure.  Lots and lots of questions.  They never stop actually.  My mind keeps whirling around until I am dizzy with questions.  Where have the last 40 years of me gone?  I had a life somewhere in there.  40 years of college, children, grandchildren, working, moving, houses, dogs, trips, you name it.  And yet, just how important were those things in shaping whom I've become today?  And what about before that?  What about my high school days?  How did those years shape whom I've become today?  I have so many deep thoughts--I told you so.

When we finally all got together that beautiful summer day I walked in fully loaded with questions just like those previously mentioned.  I wanted to know everything about all of them.  I wanted to know about their in-between lives.  Those years in between graduation and now--all 39 years of the in-between years.  I came armed with questions--are you married, do you have children, how about grandchildren?  Where do you live, what do you do, do you own a dog?  Yep, those were the questions I thought I wanted answers to.  However, from the minute I saw their smiles, all those questions faded into the background.  Not because I didn't care, no, that wasn't it at all.  It's just that when I saw them, I had a chance to actually see them.  The real them, the high school them.  The them without the stuff.  I looked into their eyes, and whether they were sad, broken, or happy-- for just those few short hours, I think we had decided to be the real us.  The 17-year-old girls from way back in the day.  The girls I knew, whom I had lunch with, talked with, had a class with, played sports with (OK, maybe not so much sports) but you get the gist.  We knew each other.  The real us.  Without fancy cars, big houses, jewelry, hot husbands (well, mine is) college degrees or major accomplishments.  We were all there and we were real.  We were the same.  Yes, that's it.  We were the same.  I didn't even have to close my eyes and imagine it.  Because for all the years that have passed and for all the time that has gone by--we looked and acted just the same to me.  I thought it would take time if it even happened at all.  I thought there would have to be a take a deep breath and relax time, a getting to know you again time, a can I trust you time.  But no, there was none of that.  We all just fell into a I already know you, I already feel comfortable around you and an I can't wait to talk with you again time.  Yes, that's exactly what we did, and I am so thankful.

I guess I didn't know what to expect.  So, as is my habit I hid once again, behind my camera.  I was afraid.  Would they like me?  Had I changed?  I was told I used to be quiet.  Really?  Me?  Quiet?  So, what were they expecting from me?  How should I act?  And as always, can my camera hide me until I am ready to be exposed?  I wondered--would they think I'd aged terribly?  What about my fat stomach, or saggy skin, or droopy eyes?  Don't laugh!  I was nervous!  I hadn't seen some of them in years!  And I do mean years.  So, I did what I usually do--I took pictures, all the while laughing and cracking jokes--which, however, is the real me.  We all wore name badges because face it, some of us had changed.  A lot.  However, I received something quite different from what I had anticipated.  What I got instead from those girls were complete and total love, acceptance and genuine friendship.  To the extent that I was mentally transported back in time to our senior year of high school.  I pictured us sitting on our senior lawn at school--eating lunch, hanging out, talking, and laughing, with our skirts hiked up tanning our legs.  We looked good back then, we look good now too.  I know this because of the looks on their faces.  We never stopped smiling or laughing or talking for a minute.  And I'll bet you anything if given half a chance we would have stayed until midnight.  Just catching up, just being there for each other, just listening.  And with me, just taking pictures.  Maybe it's just another way of me journaling what I see and feel.  As I look at the pictures I took that day, I see a beauty in the faces of my old friends that I once saw many years ago.

Yes, we've all changed, we've grown up, we've accomplished much.  And yet, we are all just the same as we were way back then.  And you know what?  I'm relieved.  I'm no longer nervous.  I'm no longer afraid that they won't like the real me or what I've become over the years.  Why?  Because on that one afternoon, we became friends all over again.  New friends, who were once old friends.  I'm closer to all of them now.  My high school friends.  The girls who in my mind are just as fun and beautiful as ever.

Out on the patio with some of my old high school friends

Hugs all around

Group shot

So much laughter

Looking at old pictures

Next year will be our 40th high school reunion.  40 years!  It's hard to imagine.  So much has happened to all of us in the last 40 years.  And yet, I know that when we are all together again, it will be like time has stood still.  We will laugh, and we will cry.  We will remember those who are no longer with us.  We will remember the good times and choose to lay aside the bad.  And we will be all be together again--same time next year.