This Past Year

I'm not going to lie.  It's been a rough year for me.  Too many changes, some good, some not so good.
It all began a year ago.  A cash offer on our home near Chicago.  Did we want to move?  Yes.  And no.  We missed our children and grandchildren, however, we had plugged in and made awesome friends and hated to leave them.  After much praying though, the decision was made.  We took the offer, sold half of our belongings and headed back to whence we came.  Ohio or bust.

Everything changed.  We downsized, moved out into the country (for me anyway) and began a new (and much different) chapter in our lives.

June--sold our home, sold our stuff, bought a new home, packed our junk.

July--pretended like we were on vacation, said goodbye to friends and neighbors, lived in a hotel for a couple of weeks.  Friends from Belgium came and stayed at the hotel with us--made it so much more bearable.  Love that family!

August--Moved into a new house, realized it was a tiny house, that it was out in the boonies, and way too quiet.  Unpacked, ran out of space, had granite installed throughout, painted interior, met new neighbors.  Bought a new puppy--secretly hoping it would cheer us up, including our existing dog.  It didn't--cheer us up that is.

September--I went back to my old Bible study group--45 minutes away.  Played with the new puppy.  Said goodbye to the old dog, who died of cancer.  Grieved for her and am still dealing with losing her.  Sadness overwhelmed me.
Visited daughter in DC.  Played with the new puppy and babysat local grandkids.  Joined New Clevelanders, getting very involved in a club.  Trying to stay positive.

October--enjoyed the beautiful fall colors of NE Ohio, they are breathtaking.  A friend from Calif visited.  Began puppy obedience training.  Getting on with life.  Missing Chicago friends.

November--went to Chicago for a week, visited old friends, shopped, ate, enjoyed life.  Thanksgiving with my whole family loved it.

December--shopped, ate, enjoyed family.  It's why we moved back.  Busy with the club.  New house feels especially cramped.  Trying hard to get used to a tiny house--that's what I've taken to calling it, even though it really isn't as small as I make it out to be.

January--after Christmas blues setting in, trying hard to stay really busy.  Still, haven't found the right church.  Miss my old church, my old friends, my old dog, my old house, my river.  Feeling sad.

February--lonely, sad, bored.  Hard to feel optimistic.  Trying though.

March--visited our daughter in DC, had lots of fun.  Husband went to Congo, lonely 2 weeks, I hate it when he goes.  All alone, sad.  Trying to keep very busy.

April--living life, staying busy with dog training, club activities, family.  Sister-in-law visited from Ca.

May--coming to terms with father's terminal illness, went to Ca. said goodbye to him for the last time, hardest trip ever.  Beginning to cope with grief.

June--summer is here, along with stupid ugly cicadas.  I hate them--their sound, their buzzing around, their size, everything about those bugs--I hate.  They are everywhere.
Bible study and clubs are taking a summer break--I am now on the board, with lots of work to do--as our activities begin again in a couple of months.  Staying busy, planning a Sept vacation, and dealing with the fact that my phone could ring at any minute telling me that my father has died.  Lots of sleepless nights.  Lots of tears.

July--thinking a lot about death and dying.  Praying for my mom, as my father just passed away.  Trying to look forward to the future.  Having a hard time, but getting through it.  Praying hard.

August--I'll be learning to cope.  Learning to lean on God.  Learning...in all ways.

It's been one year.  Full of sadness, and full of joy.  Missing old friends, making new ones.  Loving my family, especially my 7 grandchildren.  Yes, 7!  All in all, I'm glad we moved back to Ohio.  I've discovered that although I don't like change, I need it.  It's how I keep on my toes, keep relevant, keep in touch with God and all that He has for me to do.

I'm looking forward to the next year.  We have a big Europe trip planned, then the holidays hit, lots of club activities, and family fun.  I'll keep busy, that's for sure.  Also, I've learned that time does heal all wounds.  I wouldn't change a thing in my life, even though at times I have wanted to.  I've discovered that if I just let God lead me and if I follow Him, I'll be OK.  So, that's what I'm going to do.  Follow Him through every aspect of my life--the good and the bad, it's in His hands.

Saying goodbye is so hard, but saying hello isn't.  It's saying hello to a new and exciting chapter of life.  It's what I do.  Even through my tears.