No Halfsies

When I married my husband 40 years ago I made a vow.  I made a promise.  I made a commitment to be faithful, to love, and to make a partnership with him that would last throughout our lifetime.  I took it to be extremely serious.  We would remain partners for life.  The word divorce was stricken from our vocabulary.  We would work it out, no matter the cost.  And sometimes, the cost was great.

I made the same commitment to motherhood.  When we decided to start a family, I stayed home with our children.  I gave up my career, and I became a mom.  All in.  Fully committed.  I was there, always there for them, dedicated and devoted to my children.

I found out a few things about myself throughout these life experiences of mine.  One is that I am loyal--almost to a fault.  When I commit, there is no going back.  Faithful, and steadfast--my husband sometimes calls this stubborn, I, however, disagree.  I call it faithful and true.

What prompted me to write today is this--I realized that I don't do halfsies.  Oh, I know that this isn't a real word, but you get my drift.  Nothing is halfway with me.  And as I sat praying this morning, it dawned on me that the one person whom I have given everything to is God, I gave him my life--wholly, years ago.  Not half way.  Never half way.  For me, my relationship with Him is all or nothing.

I've made this commitment to love and serve him all the days of my life.  No turning back, no half-hearted attempt, no serving on my own terms or when it suits me.  No, I'm all in, and I always have been, and I pray I always will be.  Devoted to God, with all my heart.  And now, after all these years, I honestly do not know any other way to serve him.  Except with my whole heart.  I love him.  I am his child.  No halfsies.  Not me.

No matter how hard the circumstances, struggles, lack of understanding, heartache, or sickness--I know that he has my best interest tucked deep into his heart and that he will protect me and care for me.  I know that he loves me and that I am his daughter.  You see, there are no halfsies for him either. He's all in.  Fully committed, fully engaged.  He even gave his life for me.  He saved me.

This relationship that we have, this father/daughter thing, well, it's pretty special.  Me and him, him and me, whole, pure, true, strong, committed, faithful--no halfsies.

I trust him with my whole heart, he's my provider, my protector, my healer, my father, my God.