I'm always praying and asking God to use me. I try hard to watch, to be aware of what is going on around me, and to be ready, always ready. Ready to meet new or old friends and to talk with them, listen to them, or pray with them. The first encounter on this last trip was on the plane as we were flying to our destination. The poor man who just happened to be sitting next to us was a nervous flyer. As he was gripping the armrests and closing his eyes tightly, I began to pray for him. He was a nervous wreck, squeezing his eyes tight against the horrific scenes being played out in his mind.
I felt so sorry for him. He was embarrassed, too. He looked over at us and apologized. We assured him that all was fine and that if he needed anything, just let us know. And then I did what I always do — I waited. And then he did what most people do — he began to talk. I told him that he had sat next to the right person and that I was available if he needed to talk, as I was a crisis counselor. I think he immediately began to feel a little better, and we talked throughout the flight. Unfortunately, we hit a lot of turbulence from strong winds, but as each bump hit, he'd hang on tight and look to me to talk him through it. I learned a lot about him; he shared his life story with a stranger that day, and that was perfectly fine with me, as I now know how to pray for this man for the rest of my life. And whether or not our paths ever cross again, I think it's awesome that God cared enough to sit him next to someone who will always be praying for him.
The next evening, after making dinner reservations with friends, we decided to leave a little early to check out a particular area near our resort. We were waiting in line for the quick boat trip when my husband looked over and recognized a coworker whom we hadn't seen for a few years. His wife and I had become friends on a trip to Europe several years before, but had recently lost contact over the last year or so. I thought about her often and loved looking at the pictures of our trip. After getting reacquainted, our friend told me how much it meant to his wife that I had stayed in touch with her. And then he told us something so sad that I had to fight back tears. Their son had passed away just a few short months before. He sat there on that little tour boat pouring out his heart. I immediately began to pray for him and his wife. I can't even imagine the terrible pain of losing a child. He asked me for my contact info again to give to his wife, and I encouraged him to have her contact me. That chance meeting was no accident. I will be praying for them--just as if I had lost one of my own children. My heart just breaks for them.
And then a couple of nights later, as we sat having dinner with 2 other couples, the topic of grand-parenting came up. Now, I'm an old hand at this grand-parenting thing, I'm a pro, really I am! I've been doing this gig for 10 years now. Add to that my degree in psychology, and yes, yes, I do have something to bring to the table. Not advice, not corrective criticism either, but more like wisdom--a been there, done that mentality. I was able to sit, listen, evaluate, and empathize. As I sat there listening to these 2 new grandmothers share their hearts, I began to pray for them. I could understand their frustration and their hurt, and I could hear the pain in their voices. Grand-parenting isn't the easiest thing in the world. But, either was parenting. So, I sat there listening to their woes, nodded sympathetically, offered a reassuring word or two, and even shared some of my own experiences. But in the end, I reminded them of what it was like for us as young moms. How we were indeed just as oblivious of hurting our parents as our children are now, how we wanted to do things our own way, and how it was ok for us to make mistakes. How we did not need, nor did we want, unsolicited advice — especially not from the dreaded in-laws. We were adults, we were the parents, and we were bound and determined to do things our own way.
It's ok for us grandmothers to get our feelings hurt, to get our feathers ruffled, and to whine about it to our husbands and friends, but in the end, it's important for us to keep those wonderful words of wisdom to ourselves. Our kids do not need nor do they want our advice. And lo and behold--guess what? They are going to do just as good a job at raising their child as we did with ours. I will pray for my friends, listen to them, and advise them to hold their tongues so they can be the best parent/grandparent/in-law possible. We all need prayer in that area. It isn't easy to stop parenting your children even after they are all grown up and parenting their own. No, it isn't easy at all--but what in this life is easy when you think about it. Life is hard at times. However, we just can't take it so personally, and if we desire a good relationship with our children, we have to work at it. I assured them that if and when their kids ever needed them, they'd call.
I hope that I helped them in some small way. I hope they left dinner that evening feeling better about themselves. I hope they left feeling a little more positive about life as a grandparent. It is a wonderful thing — grandparenting. And the most important thing we can do as grandparents is pray, and the 2nd most important thing is to keep our mouths shut. Seriously--be quiet. And pray.
I watch for those special divine encounters. We board another plane this evening, and I wonder...who will I meet? Who will I be asked to pray for? What will happen? I'll be ready!
The next evening, after making dinner reservations with friends, we decided to leave a little early to check out a particular area near our resort. We were waiting in line for the quick boat trip when my husband looked over and recognized a coworker whom we hadn't seen for a few years. His wife and I had become friends on a trip to Europe several years before, but had recently lost contact over the last year or so. I thought about her often and loved looking at the pictures of our trip. After getting reacquainted, our friend told me how much it meant to his wife that I had stayed in touch with her. And then he told us something so sad that I had to fight back tears. Their son had passed away just a few short months before. He sat there on that little tour boat pouring out his heart. I immediately began to pray for him and his wife. I can't even imagine the terrible pain of losing a child. He asked me for my contact info again to give to his wife, and I encouraged him to have her contact me. That chance meeting was no accident. I will be praying for them--just as if I had lost one of my own children. My heart just breaks for them.
And then a couple of nights later, as we sat having dinner with 2 other couples, the topic of grand-parenting came up. Now, I'm an old hand at this grand-parenting thing, I'm a pro, really I am! I've been doing this gig for 10 years now. Add to that my degree in psychology, and yes, yes, I do have something to bring to the table. Not advice, not corrective criticism either, but more like wisdom--a been there, done that mentality. I was able to sit, listen, evaluate, and empathize. As I sat there listening to these 2 new grandmothers share their hearts, I began to pray for them. I could understand their frustration and their hurt, and I could hear the pain in their voices. Grand-parenting isn't the easiest thing in the world. But, either was parenting. So, I sat there listening to their woes, nodded sympathetically, offered a reassuring word or two, and even shared some of my own experiences. But in the end, I reminded them of what it was like for us as young moms. How we were indeed just as oblivious of hurting our parents as our children are now, how we wanted to do things our own way, and how it was ok for us to make mistakes. How we did not need, nor did we want, unsolicited advice — especially not from the dreaded in-laws. We were adults, we were the parents, and we were bound and determined to do things our own way.
It's ok for us grandmothers to get our feelings hurt, to get our feathers ruffled, and to whine about it to our husbands and friends, but in the end, it's important for us to keep those wonderful words of wisdom to ourselves. Our kids do not need nor do they want our advice. And lo and behold--guess what? They are going to do just as good a job at raising their child as we did with ours. I will pray for my friends, listen to them, and advise them to hold their tongues so they can be the best parent/grandparent/in-law possible. We all need prayer in that area. It isn't easy to stop parenting your children even after they are all grown up and parenting their own. No, it isn't easy at all--but what in this life is easy when you think about it. Life is hard at times. However, we just can't take it so personally, and if we desire a good relationship with our children, we have to work at it. I assured them that if and when their kids ever needed them, they'd call.
I hope that I helped them in some small way. I hope they left dinner that evening feeling better about themselves. I hope they left feeling a little more positive about life as a grandparent. It is a wonderful thing — grandparenting. And the most important thing we can do as grandparents is pray, and the 2nd most important thing is to keep our mouths shut. Seriously--be quiet. And pray.
I watch for those special divine encounters. We board another plane this evening, and I wonder...who will I meet? Who will I be asked to pray for? What will happen? I'll be ready!
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