Dear Mom,
It's been about 6 weeks now since you passed away. It seems strange. Not that I could talk with you for the past year or so anyway. Dementia ruined that for us. However, we had many fun conversations until it set in and took you away.
As you know, I am optimistic about life in general. I have always been that way. It isn't that I don't remember the bad; of course, I do; it's just that I choose to remember good things instead. Why dwell on the bad stuff? I can still be a truth-teller--I may not share it all with others.
So, for this last letter, I'll share the good things about my life with you as my mom. I want to thank you for so many things, and I'm happy that as I went through life, I let you know how thankful I was to have you as a mom. You were a great mom for a teenager. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. I have great memories of you driving me by the homes of boys I had crushes on. Taking me to drive-throughs for sodas. Driving my friends and me to parties, dances, football games, and the movies. You let me ask my many questions about life and love. You were a great mom. One thing that I was incredibly thankful for was that I could ask you or tell you anything. And you never made light of me. You took me seriously, and I appreciate that so much. Being able to pour out my heart and share my dreams and secrets meant the world to me.
After I married and began having my own children, you were there for me to bounce ideas off of. You never told me what you would do, but you let me figure things out alone. You never interfered. Thank you for that.
The thing I miss most now is our long phone conversations. We'd talk forever, laughing, discussing, and just being friends—good friends, adult friends. I wanted that, and I believe I have that with my own daughter. No judgment. Just an excellent, deep friendship and the knowledge that I could go to you about anything. That is my tribute to you, Mom. You were awesome.
Were there things I didn't like about my childhood? Yes, there were. But I'm not writing about that now. We've talked about those. Let's leave the past in the past. Let's talk about the good things, the happy times, and the many ways you touched my life.
The most important aspect of my childhood, the one thing that changed my life forever, was when you became a Christian at 26. I was only six years old, and the transformation of your life and our home life molded me in ways I can hardly explain. Going to church, learning about letting Jesus into my heart and life, and watching you and Dad change before my eyes was nothing short of miraculous. Because of your faith in God, taking me to church, and showing me how to live a life for Jesus, I now serve Him and have raised my children similarly. I am so grateful for that. Thank you, Mom.
So no, not everything was a rose garden. It was more of a mixed bouquet—wildflowers, weeds, thorns, and so much more. But it was our life—one filled with many emotions and memories (good and bad), and looking back, for the most part, it was good. Would I go back and change a few things? You bet! Wouldn't you? However, that is life. I believe that we can only learn or grow with the mixed bouquet. And I sure had that in my life!
I hope you know how much I miss you. I sometimes wake up at night with tears running down my face, just missing you. I know that you are so much happier now. You are in heaven with God and all those that passed before you. However, please understand that those left here have a big hole in our lives. I miss your laughter and your stories. I miss sharing my life with you. I miss so many things. Some days, I am so sad. I try hard to act normal, smile and say that everything is just fine when, in reality, it isn't. I wait until I am alone and then have myself a good cry. Grief has a tendency to sneak up on me. It catches me unaware, and it's all I can do to control it. However, one day, we will be united; I am eternally grateful for that. So, once again, I thank you. You were, and always will be, a fantastic mother.
I am so thankful for your time with us here in Ohio. Your hatred of the cold (which made us all laugh), you joining in with me and my many activities, meeting my grandchildren, and getting to know them. Not only did you create memories for yourself, you allowed them their memories of you. They still talk about your time here. I love reminiscing and looking through our photos. So many memories. Again, thank you for sharing your life and time with us near the end.
I hope you know how much you were loved and still are. I hope you know how much you are missed. I appreciate you so much. And I miss you desperately. So, Mom, until we meet again, let everyone in heaven know you are all thought about so often. Thank you for my memories, and I will see you again one day.
Your loving daughter, Veda
