My Grandma

I keep thinking about her.  I just can't get her off of my mind today.  I miss her terribly.  She died 9 years ago.  My grandma.  There are so many stories to tell about her, about our relationship and about her life.  However, the stories would be from my perspective only, not hers.  They'd be viewed from the eyes of a grandchild and I'm not sure just how accurate those stories would be.

My first memories of her were when my little family would make the 90-minute drive to her house for the weekends.  My grandfather was still alive then and we'd pile into our old car and make the long, oh so long journey to their house in the country.  Remember, I was little--perhaps 2 or 3 years old at that time, so the trip getting there was very long and boring.  Once there though, things got exciting for me.  They lived on some land that had critters!  I remember goats, sheep, cows, chickens, and I'm sure there were many more animals running around that old place.  My grandfather had an old truck and sometimes I'd go with him to pick up huge cans of milk.  He'd also buy me candy while we were out!  He was awesome!  It's funny to me now, driving the mile or so distance from where we'd go to pick up food supplies and back to their old house--it was all of a mile or 2 and yet to me, it seemed like we were gone for hours.

I remember my grandfather always sitting at the dining room table drinking coffee and my grandmother always cooking in the kitchen on a great big stove.  The house was a 3 bedroom, 1 bath with a living room, dining room and kitchen, no frills and very utilitarian.  It had a root cellar that we grandkids loved playing in and a huge yard.  We'd play for hours out in the warm summer weather.  I can vividly remember laying on my back in the fresh smelling green grass and looking up at the puffy white clouds as they'd slowly pass by.  My cousins and I would try to figure out just what shapes we were able to see.  Teddy bears or airplanes, sometimes it was hard to tell.  There was also a little pony in the pasture next to hers.  I didn't know its name but in my heart, I called it Lightning.  I don't know how I came up with that name, but I loved that little pony.  I pretended he was mine.  I think he just might have been the one who ignited my future love and interest in horses.

My grandfather passed away when I was 6 years old.  I didn't fully understand death, I didn't know then that I would not see him again in this life.  And of course, the grieving that my grandmother experienced was heartbreaking to watch.  Eventually over time though she came back to me.  I'd go stay for weeks at a time in the summer and we'd laugh, talk, play poker, pick berries, bake cobblers, and eat ice cream sandwiches.  We'd watch late night TV together and then later we'd talk late into the night.  Yes, I keep thinking about her.  She'd be over 100 years old if she were still living today.  I bet you anything that if she were still alive, she'd be just a feisty as ever.  We had so much fun, her and I.  I think she was my first real best friend.


I feel extremely blessed that my grandma knew my children and even met my son-in-law.   However, sometimes I daydream about her knowing my grandchildren.  I think she would have just loved them.  I think she'd be bowled over by the similarities between them and me, and also between her grandchildren and my grandchildren.  It's a pretty wild thought to ponder.  Family traits and resemblances have always intrigued me.  For instance--once, a few years back while walking behind my little sister I saw my grandmothers walk.  It brought tears to my eyes, I had never noticed it before.  And one time while looking through old pictures I found a picture of my grandmother and thought for a minute that it was an old snapshot of me.  Now as I look at my own children I see similarities between them and their grandparents, and it makes me happy.  Yes, I'm happy that those traits that I see will be carried on for generations.

I love being a mother and a grandmother.  I now see the important significance of family like I never have before.  I can't even imagine not having my memories of my grandma.  She was that important to me.
So today I am thinking of her.  I am remembering all those times of laughing and talking and eating and well, all those wonderful times with her.


I'm pretty sure that we were each other's favorites, but don't tell anybody.  It's supposed to be a secret.