I Can't Save The World

I'll admit, it bothers me--that I can't save the world.  However, neither can you.  It's a fact, plain and simple.  And, as several of my friends and I sat around the dinner table last night discussing a book we'd all been asked to read, we came to that realization.  No, we can't save the world, and it breaks our hearts.  I could hear it in their voices, I could see the anguish in their faces and I could read it in their body language, that pain of not being able to do everything for everyone.  It is heart breaking to read a book about poverty in our world.  Most of us have no clue what it is like for children (and adults) living in 3rd world countries.  Some of us have volunteered to travel and work amongst them, but it is short lived for we get to return to our warm cozy homes and our regular lives when our mission is over.  And we have a choice, they don't.

I had a much different blog post running through my head this morning.  However, after spending the day praying over what exactly to write about, something else came to mind.  I'm a little shocked actually.  You see, I believe that God asked me a question.  It went something like this.  Do you really think I need you to fix the world's problems?  I kind of just sat there at first, not really understanding what God was getting at.  And then it hit me.  I was taking on the burdens of this world that belong to Him and only Him.  He is in complete control of each and every individual in this entire world.  It's a hard concept for me to grasp.  It's a big world.  And it's full of poverty, problems, sickness, abuse, divorce, and a multitude of various other issues.  It's just more than my brain can take in.

And, I think that is what He wanted me to realize.  It's His world and His problems.  And He is big enough to handle things without any help from me.  And yet He uses me.  He loves to use me, to teach me, so show me how He does it, how He takes care of things, and how sometimes I am just supposed to sit back and watch.  Watch the miraculous workings of God.  I watch in amazement how He lays a certain person on my heart.  Whether it be a beggar or a neighbor--He gives me the go ahead, the nod, the desire to help.  He provides the funds, the means, the wherewithal--it's all Him, and none of me.  I don't need to feel one bit guilty, this is God's world and He can do with it what He wants.  I don't have to be afraid because I serve a fearless God.  And I don't have to feel obligated to serve because I feel privileged to serve.  I feel honored to serve.

You see, if I did it, if I helped the poor, sent all my money overseas, volunteered all my time, then I would be the one taking all the credit.  I would be the one worrying about everything being done just right.  Am I doing enough, am I giving enough, am I?  I guess what I'm saying is--I want to take the I out of this equation.  This has to be a God thing.  Not a me thing.  There is no way on this earth that I as one person can meet the needs of millions of people.  However, I know someone who can.  And, I know someone who whispers my name, and says to me--can you do this for me today?  Give this, go there, listen here.

Yes, there is a Hole in my Gospel.  I view things through the eyes of a mere mortal, not through the eyes of God.  I want that to change.  I want Him to be the center of my world.  And then, as He shows me where to go, what to do, who to help--that's when I'll be obedient to Him and give Him all I've got. I'll go, I'll do, I'll run to please the one true God.

So, simply put, I can't save the world.  However, He can and He will and He'll use me and you to help Him do it.  He doesn't need us--He's God.  But, I'm His instrument--are you?

This is what I have been praying about today.  I wondered about a lot of things--why I was born in this wonderful country, during this time of invention and technology--I wondered why I am this color, this gender, I wondered so many things--why, why me?  I had to pray, and pray hard.  I needed to know--what is it that you oh God want me to do?  As your servant, who doesn't want to ever be selfish, what do you want to me to do?  

And then I heard it, the answer.  In that small still voice of His, I heard it.  He said to me--be available, give it all, do it all, be all to them, act on my behalf, be there, go there, have my heart.

So, here I am oh God, your daughter, your servant, use me any way you want.  Here I am.