Bittersweet Christmas

It is over.  Christmas this year has passed.  Most of this year's memories were wonderful, however, there was one thing that happened that was not.  And that is why I have called this a bittersweet Christmas.  There really is no other word to describe it.  I'll start with the sweet--for that is how my mind works anyway.  I love to remember the best of things--the wonderful sweet memories.  I feel that they last longer.  They make my heart happy.  And then I'll share with you the one thing that made me cry.  In fact, I cried several times.  In fact, I'm crying now.

We started our Christmas this year by driving from our home in Chicagoland to Ohio.  We were able to spend some quality time with our sons and their families.  We had wonderful food, we opened gifts, we laughed and shared stories and had an all around great time.  I love buying my kids and their kid's gifts and I use Christmas as a time to indulge them.  And me--I'll be honest, when I buy for them I am indulging myself also!  I like to buy things for them that they most likely wouldn't spend the money on themselves.  I like to spoil them a bit.  Just a bit.  I hated to leave them--I get so sad.

However, after a few days, we left Ohio and traveled on down to Virginia.  With our dog in the backseat and our luggage in the trunk--off we went.  We stayed for several days with our daughter and her family.  It was a little crazier of a time with this bunch.  Her 2 children are a little older--therefore a little louder--therefore a little more fun!  We once again ate great food, opened gifts and had a wonderful time.  We did a lot of shopping, some sightseeing, and some cooking.  We shared our Christmas dinner with some of their good friends, we watched lots of Christmas movies and made some really fun memories.  I hated to leave them, I get so sad.

But a few days later we had to leave Virginia and head back to Ohio for my youngest son's birthday.  It was nice to be able to spend the evening with him and his little family and take them all to dinner.  It was great to see both of our sons again and their families, and our son's in-laws who are also our friends.  Celebrating birthdays with our adult children is a real treat and it doesn't happen often since we all live in different states.

And then, it was time to go home--back to reality.  Back to laundry, cleaning, un-Christmasing the house, grocery shopping, doctor appointments--just life in general.  Back to normal.  The normalcy of life.

So, what happened while we were gone over Christmas?


Someone died.  On December 20th my friend's daughter died of cancer.  She was only 31 years old.  I've known her since she was 10 months old.  Her mother had been my closest friend for many years.  Her daughter left behind 2 beautiful little girls and a family of brokenhearted parents and sisters.  When I heard the news of her passing--I cried.  When I thought of them throughout the holidays--I cried.  I can't imagine losing a child.  I just can't.  And the thought of them going through their holidays without her--well, it just plain broke my heart.  I have been praying for them constantly.  I can't seem to stop.  There is nothing else I can do, except pray.  I am so far away and that bothers me too!  I'd love to be there to comfort her family.  But, I am here and they are way across the nation and there is nothing I can do.  I feel completely helpless.

So, you see--it's been a bittersweet Christmas for me this year.  And I have a feeling that it always will be.  For my friend has lost her daughter.  It is just too much for a parent to bear.  So, I will pray for her.
My friend.  And I will always remember this Christmas as being bittersweet.  For as I hugged all 3 of my children this year--she had one less to hug.  And that broke my heart.

my daughter's kitten