Ring Those Bells

We're doing it differently this year.  The holidays.  It's going to be hard for me, I just know it.  However, I will have lots of little self-talks and I'll be OK, I just know it.  I think.  You see, I am more of a traditionalist than I once thought.  I guess I like everything my way.  I'm trying to change, I'm trying to accept that my children are all grown up and that they just might have ideas of their own.  Holiday ideas.  Not my ideas, but theirs.  And that's OK.  I think.

This year, no one will be coming to my house for the holidays.  Everything is topsy-turvy for me.  I decorated for fall--no problem--candles, warm colors, leaves, and potpourri.  But, no turkey for Thanksgiving, not this year.  This year we are going to my son's house.  I will still participate in the cooking, I will still bake the pies, and make my favorite dishes, however, we won't be at my table, we'll be at his table.  And that's OK.  I think.  We won't be using my fall dishes, or lighting my fall candles, or even using my turkey platter.  We won't be having pumpkin pie on my Christmas dishes or using my fall tablecloth or napkins.  No, it will be different this year.  And that's OK.  I think.

And since we are leaving the day before Thanksgiving and since no one will be seeing our home all decorated for fall and since we will not be returning until afterward we decided to decorate our home for Christmas before leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Hmm, decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving has even happened?  Well, that's a little hard for me.  I want to be honest here.  It's more than a little hard for me.  It's very hard for me.  I want to have Thanksgiving dinner here in my home, around my table, decorated just so and using all my wonderful plates, and glasses and serving pieces.  Yes, that's the real truth.  But, it's OK.  I think.

So here we are playing Christmas music and decorating our one Christmas tree.  Not two like we usually do.  Just one.  And instead of our house looking like a winter wonderland this year, it will look like just a little bit of Christmas because this year we won't be home for Christmas either.  We are going to our daughter's house.  I am excited about seeing all of my children and grandchildren this year--really I am.  However--I want everyone to come here--to grandma's house.  Where there are usually two huge trees, lots of smaller trees, lots of wreaths, garland, candles, German decorations, and all things Christmas.  Seriously it looks like Christmas threw up in my house--most years.  But not this year.  This year there is just one tree.  And just a few decorations--a couple of candles, no garland and honestly to me it looks kind of sad around here.

When we get home next week we will walk into a house that is semi-decorated for Christmas.  We will enjoy it for just a couple of weeks or so and then head out to our children's homes, making the rounds, delivering gifts and looking at their decorations.  They will not see ours this year.  And usually, I decorate for them.  The grandchildren--with little trains and snow globes--it's usually all for them. But not this year. And that's OK.  I think.

I am determined--I will play my Christmas music, I will enjoy the minimal decorations, I will eat off my Christmas plates and drink coffee from my Christmas mugs, and I will be thankful that I have a family.  One whom has so graciously invited us into their homes for the holidays this year.  And I'll be OK.  I think.

I'll be honest though.  I know what I'll be thinking about.  I'll be thinking about next year--hoping beyond hope that next year they'll come to my house.  And I'll be thinking that next year I'll really decorate.  I'll put everything out--all the trees, garlands, candles, dishes, lights, little trains and German toys--it'll look spectacular and they'll love it.  I'll see the looks in my grandchildren's eyes and I'll be so happy.

And I'll be OK, I just know it.  I think.  Next year.

hand made place markers--by my granddaughter

her little slippers