Cancer

I found out today that another friend has been diagnosed with cancer. I am sick to my stomach. I have told her that I am committed to praying for her daily, and I will pray. Believe me, I will pray. I hate cancer--all diseases, really--anything that can claim the life of someone whom I love and care about.

I guess after you reach a certain age, it becomes much more common. You get the email or phone call announcing-"Hey, I just wanted to let you know..."
It just plain stops me in my tracks. Literally. I stop whatever I am doing, find myself just staring off into space, then begin to process the news — I think about their families and slowly begin to pray.  Please God, heal them, spare their lives, please.

I've had several such scares myself over the last few years. The first one was when my husband was out of the country. When my doctor began using the words — surgeon and tests and scans — well, I thought I had better let him know. He immediately tried to fly home — only to find that every flight was booked. He had to stay an extra night and was even more distraught than I was. As it turned out, everything worked out OK for me. So, over the next few years, when something shows up on a test or scan, I really don't sweat the small stuff.  I always think — I'll worry when there is something to worry about. 

However, the shoe is on the other foot now, so to speak. Something has shown up on one of my husband's tests. It seems he has a nodule in his lung. I'm a little freaked out. I went with him for a CT scan this morning. I won't be posting this blog until we get the results back. I have been trying to pray. No--I have been praying. Please God--heal my husband. I can't imagine a life without him. You don't want to know my other thoughts. Thoughts of him in pain. Thoughts of him missing out on all the things of the future that we've dreamed of. It's unbearable to me. He really isn't talking much about it, but I know he's thinking, wondering, praying.

I have several friends and family members who have survived cancer--even the really bad, scary kinds of cancer.  So, I know that I will not give up hope--for my husband (should the diagnosis come back bad), nor for my friend. I will pray my brains out. And I will hope and trust that all things work out for good.

The test results came back yesterday--and everything is fine! Talk about feeling relieved. I felt myself gulping for air, I had to take deep breaths, I guess I had been holding mine for days and didn't even realize it. I just sat there thanking God that he was fine.  This morning again, while I was praying, I thanked Him even more.  I know that had things turned out differently, we would have dealt with it; we would have gone through the motions — the testing, the treatments, the whatever —we would have prayed and trusted and cried and hoped. But, I have to be honest here--I am so grateful right now. So very, very grateful that he is OK.

Cancer--I hate it. I will pray for my friend, I will ask God to heal her body because I believe in a God that heals, I believe in miracles, I believe--period. And I trust Him.  So, if you believe too, please say a prayer for my friend, it would mean a lot to me.