The T word

When I was in the 6th grade and 11 years old, I had a mad crush on a classmate. He was so cute, with dark brown hair and big brown eyes. And lo and behold--he liked me back. Now, when you are only 11 years old, it's the little things that can make or break a relationship.  For instance, one summer afternoon, as a gift, he brought me a small bottle of Coke (remember those cute little things from the 60's) and a bag of potato chips.  Which, in today's gift market, is equivalent to diamond stud earrings.  I was impressed, let me tell you. It was the best gift I had ever received thus far.

We never actually did anything as a couple, other than walking the school grounds and talking. And once in a while, he'd walk me home--I lived just around the corner from the school. I loved those innocent times. Just us--walking and talking. I wish I could remember our conversations, but I can't. Not even one. It makes me sad. I do remember the emotions, though. Puppy love at its best. I think we made a cute couple.

One day stands out in my memory more than any of the others. A day when he walked me home from school. Something happened. We were standing on the street corner talking. I had my hand on the stop sign pole, swinging around and around--just chatting away. When I came out of the corner house, a woman came to her front porch and yelled at me. It was obvious that she'd been drinking; her words were slurred as she screamed out--TRAMP, get out of here and go home.  Go hang out at your own house! I was stunned that she had yelled at me, and even though I did not know what the word tramp meant, I knew that it had to be something really horrible just by the way her mouth twisted as she yelled out the word. I ran all the way home, and when I saw my mother, I began to cry.  I asked her, " What does' tramp' mean?   She immediately wanted to know where I had heard it and who had called me that. When I answered, she was out of the house in a shot! Down to the corner, she went. I was scared to death — what was she going to do?  

Well, I guess she gave that woman a piece of her mind because the woman at the corner never showed her face again that I can remember.   But one thing I do remember is my mother's explanation of the word "tramp" to me.  I was shocked. How could I, at 11 years old, be what that lady called me?  And right then and there, I made a vow to myself that I never would be--a tramp.

Isn't it funny how one little incident, one little word, can have an impact on our lives? Because of her, I remained a virgin until my wedding day. Because of her, I was very careful of the way others perceived me. I did not ever want to be considered a tramp. It was hurtful and mean what happened to me that day. In a way, one word, the T word, changed the course of my life.

I don't think about that woman very often, but I do think about the words I use. Do they hurt and tear down? Or do they encourage and build up? I like to think that I choose my words carefully. At least I hope I do, I try.