I think a lot about friendship. Probably because like many people I've had some good friends and some bad friends. Fortunately, I've had very few of the bad ones. It seems like with friends--true friends are more like family. You work out the kinks and iron out your differences--if there are any, which there usually are. But, with the friends that aren't really friends--well, there is no working it out. Maybe there isn't a need. I don't know.
My friends--the ones that I cherish deeply are true--in every sense of the word. True blue, loyal, faithful, they are there for me. They're the ones who I know I can call during the night and with one word--they'd come running to my side. One such friend was called upon one day. I had a need. I called, she answered. And just as I expected she said what do you need, I'm here for you. It was the day my nephew died. I needed a place to stay, I needed a car and I needed a shoulder to cry on. I honestly didn't even know I had those needs. But she knew. And as soon as our plane landed, we were picked up at the airport, placed in their quest room and loaned a car. I was so grief stricken at the time that I barely remember going through the motions of those few days. But, I remember my friend. Right there. By my side. Step by step. I so appreciate her and her husband. True blue, loyal and faithful.
To me, that's what real friendship is. Friends who are willing to help at a moments notice. Who grieve when you grieve, who are happy for you when good things happen, who aren't jealous of you when God blesses you, who prays for you and with you--real friends who are genuine. They love me. And I love them. It's described in the Bible in this way:
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
I've been blessed with a handful of these types of friends. I am fortunate. Some people go through their entire lives without ever knowing a true friend. And although my circle is small, they are such a blessing to me. Just to know they are there, praying for me--means everything. And I sure hope that I am that type of friend to them.
I've had the other type of friend too. I've heard them called frienemies, they are the scary ones. The ones to beware of, the ones to watch out for. They start out nice and end up stabbing you in the back. They aren't happy for you when good things happen--they sit around and wonder why you and not them. And after a time they become increasingly jealous. As I've grown older I've become more careful. I still make friends, but I tend to test the waters a little more thoroughly. I'm tired of having disloyal friends. Friends who don't rejoice with me, friends who don't cry with me, or worse yet friends who are untrustworthy. I'm not sure what goes through their minds. I'm not made like them.
You see--when I make a friend, they are my friend for life. I would never ever intentionally hurt someone, or use them. But, when a friend does hurt my feelings and asks for forgiveness--I forgive them and go on. I do not harbor a grudge, it's over with and with me, they have a clean slate. After all, we are all human--I am human. And we are going to make mistakes--I make mistakes. And sometimes unintentionally we say things that might hurt someone or make them angry. I always think it's best to clear the air and move on. Or in most cases with a good friend, I give them the benefit of the doubt and think to myself--I know they don't mean it that way.
Just think--what would life be like if we could all extend grace and forgiveness to each other.
I try hard--really hard. To be a good friend--as best I can.
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