Mother's Day

Now that my kids are grown and married I get asked all the time how I survived.  You know--the teenage years.  I think they ask because my kids are doing well.  They are homeowners with good jobs, they are married and they have families of their own.  I guess you could say I survived--but maybe that word should be defined.  I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy--that's for sure.  It wasn't easy at all.  But, I had a saying and I stuck to it.  I would periodically say to them--only one of us is going to win this fight and I guarantee it won't be you.  To some that might seem drastic, but to me, it meant parenting.  And it meant survival.

You see, I had a covenant--with them and with God.  A covenant is an agreement that brings about a relationship of commitment between God and his people.  When I signed up for this job--the job of mom, I made a promise.  One that said that no matter what the circumstances looked like, I would teach my children the ways of God.  Because of my relationship with Him, it was only natural for me to take them to church and to teach them what the Bible said and to teach them values, principles, and morals that were important to me.  You can ask my children--I was a pretty strict mom.  I took my job of mothering seriously and I love my children dearly.  I would give my life for them.

There were also some absolutes in our home.  One of those was job distribution--it was kind of like no workee, no eatee.  A real division of labor that had to be worked out between the kids--small but important tasks to teach them a real work ethic.  Things like taking out the trash, cleaning their rooms, doing their own laundry and so on.  There was to be no lying either.  If you messed up, you were to fess up.  Plain and simple.  If you lied about something and got caught you were in trouble, however, if you told the truth--you got off scot-free.  I felt that it was more important to teach them not to lie than to punish them for doing something wrong.

I realize I had a lot of little parenting idiosyncrasies, but they seemed to work for me.  Between my degree in psychology and my belief in God (which meant a lot of praying)--I survived the child-rearing years without incident.  My oldest was my easiest, my middle was my sneakiest, and my youngest gave me gray hair.  No, I'm kidding, I could not have asked for better children.

So, what is my advice for raising children? 

Make a plan and stick to it. 
Decide early what your values are--what's important to you.  
Train and teach--don't just wing it.  
Listen when they talk--you aren't always right.  
Learn how to apologize.    
Don't waffle--kids hate that--it makes them feel unsafe.  
Treat them with respect.
Give them love, unconditionally.
Put yourself in their shoes--see the world through their eyes.
Pray your brains out and trust--with all your might.
And most important of all--be consistent. 

I am thankful and I am grateful and believe me--He is faithful.  
He made a promise to me.  God said--point your kids in the right direction and when theyare old they won't be lost.  So I did.  
I pointed and they are wonderful adults, and I survived.  

I am a happy mom.  Happy Mother's Day!


My mom...Happy Mother's Day to you!