Do you know what I am hoping for next year? I am hoping for stability. I know that sounds a little melodramatic; however, this past year has hit me a little hard. There have been way too many changes for me. To some, they might seem like simple changes; to me, they were more like life changes. And to tell you the truth, I am tired. I feel emotionally worn out, and I would like things to become simple. Quiet, calm, unchanging...Am I asking for too much? Probably.
It's not going to keep me from praying that way, though. I don't want anyone to die, I don't want to move, I don't want to lose another dog, and I don't want to be lonely. What I do want is this — I want lots of time with family and friends. I want to travel and play with/train my new puppy. I want to eat healthily and have the pain in my hip subside. I think all these things sound reasonable.
And there is one thing I know for sure, one stable thing. God has never ever failed me. Does that mean that everything will be just how I want it to be, or go just how I want it to go? No. It just means that, like this year, He will walk me through all the processes of change. If there are any. Which I hope there aren't. However, you and I both know that there will be. There always is. Change. I won't be alone, though, no matter what happens, no matter if I move again (gasp) or if someone I love dies, or if, if, if--God will shield me. From what? Myself. He will shield me from myself. I need that more than anything. I need to realize, moment by moment, that He is in complete control of my life and the lives of those around me. And I need to accept those changes in my life as good things because all good things come from Him and Him alone.
So, in all my talk about stability, maybe I should be trying harder to be aware of all the work that God is doing around me. Maybe this year, I'll be more in tune with what He's doing in my life and others, and maybe just maybe by this time next year--I'll be just a little wiser. Maybe.
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