Soul Sister

I have been extremely blessed in my life with lots of friends and a huge extended family. However, there is one standout person in my life that I'd like to write about today. And she happens to be my cousin. Yes, she is one of many, however, this particular cousin is more like a sister to me, in fact, she's my soul sister. At least that's how I think of her. She's the one to have my back, to pray for me, and she listens to me--she's good at that.

We weren't close growing up, though. She's a couple of years younger than I am, and she hung out with my little sister. In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, I was a little (just a little) bit mean to her. OK, a lot mean. You see, she was a little tattletale.  You remember those types — mom, so-and-so is doing such-and-such.  So much so, that I found myself looking for things to do so that she'd tattle on me, and then I'd bat my innocent little eyes at my mother and say--who me? I didn't do that, Mom.  She's lying. And of course, my mom would believe me. Yes, I was an ornery little booger. My poor little cousin would get so exasperated with me, but it was worth it just to put that little tattletale in her place. What a little brat I was!

Fast forward several years, and we were married and starting our own families. We'd just had our first babies, and I found out she was moving to the town where I was living.  I wondered how that would go down — would we hang out? Would she want to go to my church? Would our little girls play together? I wanted us to be friends; we were grown-ups now, we were moms — so I tried hard to welcome her, and I introduced her to some of my friends.  And I invited her to church, which she declined. It's interesting now that I think back on that conversation--I knew she was going through a rough time, but I also knew that I was supposed to invite her to my church. At that time of her life, she wasn't walking with God; she was pretty much doing her own thing, and yet...I knew in my heart I just had to invite her. What I said to her was this — I'm only going to ask you once; I'm not going to bug you. When you're ready, call me, and I'll come pick you up, and we'll go together. But I'm not going to ask you again, so it's up to you. Honestly, I didn't think she'd call, not for a long time. However, 3 weeks later, she did. She came to church with me that Sunday and never looked back. Yes, she's gone through many trials and tribulations just like the rest of us, and she has worked out her stuff with God. And, we've always given each other space, and we've always prayed for each other.

We became best friends over the next few years. We had so much in common--we each had a daughter and then 2 sons, we went to the same church, had many of the same friends, we went camping together (yes, I used to camp), we raised our kids together, hung out, went to Bible studies, and on and on. And when I moved to the Midwest many years later, she was one of the people I hated leaving behind the most. It tore my heart out to leave her. One good thing, though, is that we've still maintained our relationship.  Maybe because we are blood — I don't know. Maybe because we have so much history, or maybe because that's how God wants it. We are still (if not more so) close; we still pray for each other, listen to each other, counsel each other, and think of each other as soul sisters. She is probably my closest friend. And without getting too mushy here--just know this, I love her very much, in fact--I admire her. And, I'm going to tell you why. This will embarrass her, however, since I don't use names and have a boatload of cousins, she will remain somewhat (not really) anonymous.

Almost 40 years ago, my cousin (and her sister) suffered a great tragedy. Their entire family was killed in a small plane crash. Their father, mother, brother, and sister — gone. Just like that, their world was interrupted and turned upside down. I can remember that night very clearly. My husband and I were in the car when a news bulletin came over the radio.  There had been a plane crash with 3 family members on board, all were killed. How sad, I thought, a whole family--gone. When we walked into our house, the phone was ringing — my sister delivered the news: it was my aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins — there were actually 4 on board.  They'd found their brother's body, too. The funeral for those 4 family members was one of the largest I'd ever been to. They were from a small town, and I think just about everybody came.  My cousin was only 18, and her sister was only 16.  As I sat there watching both of my cousins say goodbye to their families, well, it just broke my heart. I believe that it was at that time, God began to put that soul sister love and that protective big sister heart--into me. Because within just a couple of short years, our deep friendship began.

You might wonder why I admire my cousin so much, well, in all these years she's never played the victim. She doesn't talk about her loss. She is strong in her faith, and she loves and trusts her God. She knows he is in control, and although I am sure she misses her parents and siblings every day, she doesn't dwell on it. Her loss has never defined her. She is a survivor. I have such great respect for her and her relationship with God. She knows that one day she'll be reunited with her family, and she's more than willing to let go of the past and get on with God.

Last week, God gave each of us a gift. He allowed us to go to the Triennial together. And boy did we have fun. Not only was I there with 15 others from my church, but my soul sister was there! We were able to stand side by side and worship God together for the first time in 14 years. And it was awesome. We cried, we prayed, we talked, we worshiped, and we sang--together. My cousin/best friend/soul sister. I'll never forget that week in San Diego. Soul sisters were reunited. And I thank our awesome and mighty God for such a wonderful time.

Now, I have one more thing to say--something grandiose--something kind of crazy sounding. I have a prayer request. My cousin and I —no, wait, now that I think about it, I have several cousins with daughters — anyway, wouldn't it be the coolest thing ever if, in 3 years, at the next Triennial, well, we could all go again, only next time with our daughters? I wonder — if I start praying now — how many would go? Cousins, and their daughters, sisters, and their daughters, the possibilities are limitless, kind of like my God. He's just so awesome like that. And now I've lots to pray about. And so does my cousin--she'll be so happy! Her bossy cousin strikes again! Soul sisters forever.