When I Pray

I left church yesterday feeling frustrated. The pastor of that particular church spoke on prayer. I was hoping to be taught something new, useful, some little nugget to take with me and grapple with during the week. However, I was left feeling relatively flat. I wanted more, much more. I wanted the truth, a new thing, something I hadn't heard before, something to take with me. Yes, frustrated is the word I would use. Or disappointed. Maybe that's the word I'm looking for.

The experience I had in that church was the topic of conversation for my husband and myself the rest of the day. We proceeded as usual--ran some errands, did some house projects, even took a little ride, and all the while talking about--prayer. What it meant to us, how we would have taught that sermon, and what we think it means to God. We jabbered non-stop. We do that. We'll get fixated on a topic, break it down, and come up with some pretty good discoveries. I think, though, that this time around, I was doing the majority of the talking; he was listening more--because I was the one who was the most discouraged.

Prayer for me means this--talking. Yes, talking. Talking to my God, my father, my dad, my creator. I speak, and He listens. It's that simple for me. And, it's a good thing it's that simple. I'm supposed to come to Him like a little child--full of faith, love, and expectation. And I do. That's precisely the way I go to Him.  Just like a little kid talking to her dad. The dad that I met 50 years ago. My real dad. I sit on His lap, I lean into Him, I rest on Him and I slowly begin to pour out my heart. Sometimes it's just a heart that says, thanks, Dad, for everything. Sometimes it's a heart that cries out--I need you now, and sometimes I have a list. It all depends on the day.

I know that He knows me inside out, there is nothing to hide, He knows my heart, He loves me. I am more comfortable with Him than any other person on the face of this earth. I've known Him for 50 years. My God, my father. So, there's no mask, no fake promises, no hiding, no pleading, no begging--only trust. Pure trust. He will do what is right for me. He'll listen to me because I am His daughter. He'll consider all that surrounds my life and do or give or take or whatever is necessary--He'll answer my prayers accordingly. I can relax. I can chill out. He's heard me. It's now up to Him, my father, and after I pray, I trust. I trust Him completely.

I love talking (or praying) to God. I love the relationship that we have. I love being the child and Him being the father. I love that He provides for me. Yes, I love all of that. And I also love that He teaches me through our times together, the how-tos of life. What to say, what to do, what to expect. I'm growing up. Oh, I still fall down, stumble, and make huge mistakes, but He's always there--a prayer away. As an adult, I sit for a long time in the mornings with my cup of coffee, and I talk to God. When I'm out driving in my car, I speak to God, and when I'm home alone, I talk to God during the day. Prayer--it's a relationship thing--a friendship, a bond. It's ongoing and never-ending--He's always with me--guiding me, leading me, protecting me--a prayer away.

And if praying is as simple as me talking to God, you might have guessed that hearing from God is just as simple. This is how God talks--He speaks to me through His holy spirit--deep inside my heart, and He speaks to me through the Bible. The holy book, the one I read and love. Everything He has to say to me is in there. Pure, simple, easy, and basic. People make it hard. They overcomplicate the text. Jesus spends the new testament breaking it back down into simple terms for people like me to understand. He says--follow me, love me, serve me, obey me, live like me, need me, worship me, pray to me, believe in me, learn from me, open your heart to me, let me in, listen to me--so I do.

With all my heart, I do--when I pray.