Lifetimes

I guess the word lifetime would mean one life lived during a specific time period, a span of time.  Maybe somewhere between 80 to 90 years--that would be a lifetime, although I'd like to live to be 100, but only if I'm in good health.  I do know that sometimes lives are cut short but that makes me too sad to even think about.  I'm wondering though if maybe a lifetime is something more.  Maybe it is really life segments.  Or several lifetimes all rolled into one--like a sausage.  Multi-colored and multi-dimensional when you slice it into pieces.

For instance--take my life.  I have already (in my mind) lived several segments of life.  One part is my childhood.  That would be the time I spent living with my parents, almost 18 years.  There were 4 of us in my little family.  I went to school, I played outside with friends, I visited with relatives, I learned about life, I matured during this time--getting ready for the next part.  I grew up and moved out and started the next segment or phase of my life.  I got married--and now realize that there were several segments wrapped up in this span of time.  First off there were our short 3 1/2  years of marriage sans children.  They used to call us DINKS.  Double Income No Kids.  It was actually a fun time for us.  We had a cute little duplex that I enjoyed decorating, and we began buying furniture and saving for a house.  We worked hard during the week so sometimes on weekends we'd take off and go to Carmel or Monterey.  We ate out a lot and also begin a love of exploring little towns that we continue to this day.  I have awesome memories of those times, walking on the beach, talking about our future, daydreaming...

And then the kids came along and another lifetime started.  We bought our first house, learned to live on one income, and also learned how to sacrifice for our children and for each other.  Weekend getaways became less frequent and family camping trips became the norm.  However, there was more stress during this section of my lifetime than any other so far.  The part where juggling time, finances, and hopes and dreams were all up in the air--attainable yet just a tad out of reach most of the time.  Hmm, the most stressful part and yet the part that I miss the most.  Something to ponder.  So one lifetime flowed into the next and without even realizing it--we flowed right along with it.  Slowly, gently heading into the direction of the next lifetime.

Our kids aged--they began to grow up--they went to college and got married.  It was a different kind of stress then--much more emotion based--wanting them to be happy and successful and yet have a deep seated longing to still be needed.  I missed them.  I'm not so sure I liked that lifetime.  That part.  That piece.  It was a very busy time of life--weddings, graduations, and then the dreaded empty nest.  But, it did eventually get better--when the grandchildren came along.

Maybe grand-babies are our consolation prize.  Here you go, you've raised 3 kids, giving them your best and now that you are older and seemingly wiser, here is a new baby to spoil.  That's the lifetime segment I am in right now.  Grandma time.  And that's OK with me.  It was worth every minute of those other lifetimes.  I guess they all added up to this--5 grandchildren plus 1 very proud grandmother.  This part of my life is good, it's flowing smoothly.

I have another lifetime segment floating out there in front of me--it's called retirement.  I have very mixed emotions about that segment.  It'll be here within the next 10 years.  On one hand, my husband and I will be able to spend all our time together and we'll get to travel more.  However, the flip side is that we'll be older, maybe more tired, with some health issues and a fixed income.  That part doesn't sound like much fun.  But knowing us, we'll make it fun, we always do.

But then, what about the segment that follows that?  What about that end part?  When our lifetime is over?  When we close our eyes for the last time?  What about then?  I guess I'll have to wait and see.  The first few segments of my life were pretty great, and I just have a feeling that the next couple of segments of this multi-dimensional lifetime of mine will be too.

Hopefully one day I'll get to see my grandchildren get married, buy their first homes and start their families.  They are in their own lifetimes now--the first part.  They are creating memories and living life.  One lifetime at a time.

I hope and pray that their lifetimes are as sweet as mine.  It would make my heart happy.