Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hunger and Hope

In one of my sociology classes in college, I stumbled upon a quote by a French philosopher. I can't remember his name nor the exact quote, so I'll paraphrase it here the way my brain translated it that day in class.  He said--there is a void inside of every man that can only be filled by God.  I've never forgotten that saying and now as I sit here writing, it has come to my mind again.

I started thinking about hunger--more specifically the hunger that mankind has for God.  I think that without all of us realizing it, we do hunger for Him in some way or another.  It's a void, a hole, a deep yearning for something that is missing and until we find it or until He finds us, we seem to walk around and sometimes stumble about empty and blind.

I'm wondering now if during that time of emptiness--are we bitter towards the God whom we seek out?  It would not surprise me really, because even though I claim to have a relationship with God, and I  believe in Him with my whole heart--even I have gone through times of bitterness when things aren't going according to the way I've planned.  I have walked around feeling as though I've been deserted by my creator and I have been left to crumble and die all be myself--all alone.  I cry and wail and before too long bitterness begins to grow like a weed.  That bitterness is scary to me.  Much like a weed, it needs to be pulled as soon as possible.

And thankfully after a time I come to my senses and go before God with a little tiny spark of hope and a great big heart of remorse.  I ask Him to forgive my bitter heart, to once again fill that void and to give me hope.  I just need a little bit--maybe just the size of a mustard seed.  That small.  Maybe because I realize--that the void in my heart might have only been just that small, to begin with, but then because of my unbelief it grows almost out of control.  But when He hears my cries, He comes to my rescue and He fills my heart once again with hope--my life turns sweet.

The void disappears and His love, forgiveness and grace flood in and I forget all about the emptiness.  All I feel is Him, living in my heart once again.  His arms around me, holding me and promising me that He is my hope, my future, my sweet life.

In hunger there is bitterness, in hope there is sweetness.

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