Midwest

We moved to the Midwest in late 1999. It was just before Thanksgiving. Poor timing on our part. The holidays were right around the corner, and boy, was it a lonely time for us. No family, just us--all alone. And it was much colder than we'd anticipated. One of our first shopping excursions was to buy some down coats.

We bought an old English Tudor with steam heat that hissed and pinged. There was plenty of room for our family of 5. Everything about that old house was different from our home in California. It had a laundry chute that went down to the basement and old bathrooms — one with a claw-foot tub. It didn't have air-conditioning. It didn't have a pool, and it had a tiny backyard. Still, I loved it. It was our Midwest home, and it went with our new Midwest lifestyle.

Yes, I said lifestyle — because, believe me, there was definitely a lifestyle change. Let's start with the weather; we weren't in California anymore. In hindsight, moving here in the middle of Winter probably wasn't the smartest choice. Freezing cold, snow, ice, lack of sun--we were lucky we didn't kill each other. We'd all huddle in the basement family room in front of the fire and try hard to like the person sitting next to us. It wasn't easy being nice. We were cold and lonely, wondering if we hadn't just made the biggest mistake of our lives. The holidays that year were pretty bad. I tried to be the cheerleader--I bought tons of food and gifts, but it didn't make up for missing our friends and family.

It didn't take long, though. Our kids began to make some friends — through school, work, and church, we started meeting people.  Also, this is where my sons became friends, not just brothers. They only had each other for the first few months. They went from fighting to hanging out. They even bought a car together to share. Yes, I said share. It was almost too much for me to wrap my brain around. And after we thawed out, we found that we loved our home, our neighbors, and our little town.

However, there were differences. Now, this is something that I observed; it might or might not be true, but it became true for me.  I found people in the Midwest to be slow to make new friends. They seem to be much closer to family, and since Midwesterners aren't as transient as Californians--well, let's just say that they had friends left over from elementary school days. In other words--life long friends and no room for new ones. It made it hard for us to nudge our way in. They seemed much more wary of strangers, and it didn't help one bit that we came from you know where. But, we persevered and eventually made a home and yes, even some friends in the Midwest. 

Another thing I noticed--not to be too picky, but they sure aren't happy little campers during the long winter months.  You better not be expecting a smile or a howdy because you aren't going to get one! I think it's a lack of sunshine myself. It's the only reason I could come up with, and believe me, I've studied this. It's called SAD or seasonal affective disorder. I'm diagnosing the entire area of Northeast Ohio — it's for their own good. Customer service of any kind leaves in November and somewhat returns sometime around May. That's a long time. I had always been told that midwesterners were friendly, um, no, they're not. But, I won't go there, no reason to offend people. 

Also, Midwesterners speak a different language from Californians.  For instance--what I would say if I were to order a diet coke might go something like this--do you have soda? They'd reply — yes, we have pop. What in the world is a pop? I saw a trash can labeled "pop cans" here — seriously, I had no idea what that meant.

We also stopped camping after moving to the Midwest. We went once. It rained the entire trip and was extremely humid. That year, I donated all my camping gear. Hello, hotels.

However, there are many positive things to say about the Midwest. It's beautiful out here. It's green and hilly, and the fall colors will knock your socks off. There are 4 distinct seasons, and the Great Lakes, which are really inland seas. We've got some big cities out this way--have you heard of Chicago? There are metro parks and rivers, beautiful little New England-style towns, and awesome food.  The food alone deserves its own page.

And best of all, my kids and grandkids are here. I guess we are Midwesterners now, with a lot of Californians thrown in.  And dude, like, isn't that what this country is all about? Blending cultures and getting along? I sure hope so! Just thought I'd throw some California speak in there!